Devoir d'Anglais assez

Publié le 30 avr. 2016 il y a 7A par Anonyme - Fin › 3 mai 2016 dans 7A
1

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour,

J'ai eu un devoir à faire en Anglais et j'avoue avoir pris du temps à le faire; cependant je pense avoir plein de fautes malgré mon effort j'aimerais donc avoir un peu d'aide pour me corriger ce serai possible ?

PS : c'est un journal intime écrit par un soldat de l'Union qui décrit les 3 jours de la bataille de Getttysburg.

 

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Voilà le devoir effectué : 

1st July, 1863

For anticipating a Confederate assault we are left under a sky cleared up has the meeting of the enemies under the directive of the General John Buford. Buford produced the first line of defenses along 3 ridges west of the town (Gettysburg): Herr Ridge, McPherson Ridge and Seminary Ridge. Unfortunately the enemies crossed the defenses of Buford and different battle erupted in several locations:  we were rapidly outflanked and we were forced to retreat. The assessment is catastrophic, we lost numerous men; a luck which have only of small scratches!

During the night of July 1st, we are arrived in Gettysburg and the army establishes a strong line in the shape of fishhook: we have occupied Gettysburg in a different locations.

2nd July, 1863

Strengthening was requested then we attacked in the left flank, in center and in the right flank. My comrades and me were totally frightened by the gunshots which do not have stop ring out, I don't know how I am still alive , but I always hoped to go until the end..

Johnn was shoot, I saw him suffering in front of me but I couldn't do anything ; I was powerless in the face of this massacre. I promised only to watch over his family if myself got out of it.

In the end of the day,it was still unclear who had won but the war is not finished, I would beat me up to the death for the Union, my family and John.

3rd July, 1863

Today Lee wanted to attack the center, and the confederate destroyed our defenses. The weather was very hot and humid which adds difficulties supplementary. At 1:10 pm we have done artillery barrage. Troops under Pickett moved across the field: Union cannons were expecting them. The Confederate lost many men but they kept moving on because muskets had a 200 yard range. At the end we won but the balance sheet of both camps was terrible: many dead, amputees who were taken care in conditions horrible and mental damage.

 




6 commentaires pour ce devoir


willffy
willffy
Posté le 30 avr. 2016

L'anglais n'est pas ma spécialité, mais

in conditions horrible

l'adjectif ne doit pas être devant?

 

and different battle

Pluriel?

 

in a different locations.

singulier ou pluriel?

 

who had won but

Il ne manquerait pas le sujet?

 

 

Anonyme
Posté le 2 mai 2016

Merci je vais mettre ce qu'il faut au bon endroit merci encore ;)

Anonyme
Posté le 30 avr. 2016

Pour moi la première phrase cloche...je pense qu'il faudrait remplacer "for anticipating" par "to anticipate" . Qu'as-tu voulu dire ?

Anonyme
Posté le 2 mai 2016

Merci j'ai compris ce qui clocher ! ;)

1
Anonyme
Posté le 30 avr. 2016

Au 3ème paragraphe, il me semble que l'on ne dit pas "my comrades and me" mais "my comrades and I". On ne peut pas mettre "a" (singulier) et "locations" (pluriel) ensemble ; si c'est au pluriel, on dira simplement "in different locations". Je pense aussi que l'on dit plutôt "John was shoot", "I only promisd", "I would beat myself to the death of the Union" et "At the end of the day".

J'espère que cela t'aidera

Anonyme
Posté le 2 mai 2016

Merci beaucoup ! 


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