Correction de mes fautes de grammaire: Expression écrite sur un chanteur

Publié le 8 janv. 2011 il y a 13A par Anonyme - Fin › 11 janv. 2011 dans 13A
5

Sujet du devoir

Contracted: Good morning everybaody, today I’m going to spikt you about “Yannick Noah”, and tell you why I have chosen this singer and the importance which he has for me.
First of all, I love his personèility it is a man honest, kind, plèzeunte, sporty and who likes the life.
He sings to speak about injustices, about the war, poverty in the world, and he would want that the world becomes better. He is a reggae singer.
For me, Y.N is an example, because he succeeded in life he's done well in life. (Il a réussi)
And now concerning his music, I love completely (i), because when I listen to his music, I under the impression that music takes me into a new world, I have a feeling of joy and sadness. Sometimes, when he sing, I think that he speak about my life, but really, I know that, this is not what he does.
Concerning the composition of his music, Y.N gives me strength, luck, enerdgy. the instruments which he use are very softs, he havge the voice of angels.
My biggest disèippouètmente was when I went to see Yanick in the stadium, for his new album “Borders”, everything was fine, but in the end he ignord me, as if I were an animal.
But today, he is always important, I live through his music, and I spend two hours, I spend two hours a day on the internet to listen to his albums, and each time I am fond for him.
Ultimately, I am dependent on This Great singer
In this album, we can see that Y.C in against the injustices, and inequality (eunjeustaicis)


Merci beaucoup, les fautes faites dans certaines phrases sont faites exprès, pour la pronocation.

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Merci de votre aide .........................................................



2 commentaires pour ce devoir


Anonyme
Posté le 9 janv. 2011
Good morning everybody, today I’m going to speak to you about “Yannick Noah”, and tell you why I have chosen this singer and the importance which he has for me.
First of all, I love his personality it is a man honest, kind, pleasant, sporty and who likes life.
He sings about injustices, about war, poverty in the world, and he would like the world to be a better place. He is a reggae singer.
For me, Y.N is an example, because he succeeded in life he's done well in life. (Il a réussi)
And now concerning his music, I love completely (i), because when I listen to his music, I am under the impression that his music takes me into a new world, I have a feeling of joy and sadness. Sometimes, when he sing, I think that he speak about my life, but really, I know that, this is not what he does.
Concerning the composition of his music, Y.N gives me strength, luck, energy. the instruments which he uses are very soft, they have voices like angels.
My biggest disappointment was when I went to see Yanick in the stadium, for his new album “Borders”, everything was fine, but in the end he ignored me, as if I were an animal.
But today, he is always important, I live through his music, and I spend two hours a day on the internet to listen to his albums, and each time I am fond of him.
Ultimately, I am dependent on This Great singer
In this album, we can see that Y.C is against the injustices, and inequality (eunjeustaicis)
Anonyme
Posté le 10 janv. 2011
Good morning everybody, today I will introduce you Yannick Noah, and will tell you why I have chosen this singer, and the importance he has for me.
First of all, I love his personality : it is a honest, kind, pleasant,and sporty man who loves life.
His songs deal with injustices, war, world's poverty, and he wants the world to become better. He is a reggae singer.
In my opinion, Y.N is an example, because he made a success of his life.
Concerning his music, I completely love it, because when I listen to it, I have the sensation that music transports me in a new world. I feel joy and sadness. Sometimes, when he sings, I think that he speaks about my life.But I that actually, it is not the case .
Concerning the composition of his music, Y.N gives me strength, luck, energy. The instruments that he usea are very soft, they are the voice of the angels.
My biggest disappointment was when I went seeing Yanick in the stadium, promoting his new album “Borders”. Everything was fine, but it ended, he ignored me, as if I were an animal.
Neverthless, he is always important to me : I live through his music. I spend two hours per day onto the internet listening to his albums, and each time I am fond of him.
Finally, I am addicted to This Great singer
In this album, we can notice that Y.C in against injustices, and inequality.

Petits conseils :
- Devant les notions abstraites, ne mets pas THE. Par exemple : " la guerre c'est mal " = " War is bad ", mais si tu écris " la guerre en Afghanistan c'est mal " = " the Afghan war is bad "
- N'oublie pas les -S à la fin de la troisième personne du singulier au présent simple.
- Même si c'est sur internet, note bien toute la ponctuation. En te corrigeant, on peut alors de grosses fautes car nous n'aurions par compris ce que tu as voulu dire.

Sinon c'est plutôt pas mal, mais essaye de travailler sur la concordance des temps aussi.

Bonne soirée

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