Journee dans un Summer camp

Publié le 13 févr. 2014 il y a 10A par Anonyme - Fin › 16 févr. 2014 dans 10A
1

Sujet du devoir

Le but est d'imaginer en anglais une journée dans un camps de vacances. Il faut parler de : 

- l'endroit, les camarades de chambre, nos impressions, la nuit passé, les activites qu'on a faites et celle qu'on a pas faites, et bien sur d'un moment embarrasant tout en utilisant des adjectifs en -ed et -ing , le preterit et le present perfect et le vocabulaire du sport. 

 

Merci

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Dear diary,

Yesterday, I woke up with my friend Audrey, Céline and Sarah at half past seven o’clock.
Celine is my best friend since ten years and Audrey is my best friend since four years. More over Sarah is one of my friend , she is so pretty and very intelligent. We were so tired. After that the organizers served our breakfast. It was delicious, they have eaten english specialities like bacon and eggs. Then, we got dressed , the room where we have sleept is so gorgeous, it’s pink and yellow but it is very cold. At 10 o’clock we went horse-riding but after we were so exhausted so we decided to draw to relax us. I love summer camp because it allows me to meet people ! We have climbed, do scuba diving and roller blading. But at one moment when we were rollerblading , I felt on the ground and every body laughing. I was very stressed… Fortunately, my boy friend Thibault rescue me and I was in a dream. I tell to him that we shall never part ! Then we ate a picnic in a fabulous park where you can touch the squirrels ! On the afternoon, he went to a dance lesson ! The musics were so cool and it makes our feel happy ! After that we were tired and when we came back to the camp we took a shower and then we went dinner but on the evening there was a party and we must dance, sing, and have fun !!
Now we are saturday morning and I have to go to the canteen to eat a good tea very hot ! Today I would like to play basketball, volleyball, fencing, and several extreme sports like paragliding and parachuting !

See U soon

 

 




2 commentaires pour ce devoir


Anonyme
Posté le 13 févr. 2014

friends* car elles sont trois

Tu ne peux pas dire «half past seven o'clock » Car « half past seven » veux dire sept heures et demi alors que « seven o'clock » veut dire sept heures pile. Donc tu dois choisir entre ces deux horraires.

breakfasts* car c'est nos petits-déjeuners pas mon petit-déjeuner.

« Then, we got dressed , the room where we have sleept is so gorgeous, it’s pink and yellow but it is very cold » soit tu met tout au présent soit tout au passé mais comme tu avais mis au passé précédemment, tu devrais metttre : « Then, we got dressed , the room where we have sleept was so gorgeous, it was pink and yellow but it was very cold »

boyfriend* c'est collé

« he went to a dance lesson » c'est plutôt : « we went to a dance lesson »

« it makes our feel happy ! » C'est plutôt : «  it makes us feel happy ! »


« to eat a good tea very hot » C'est plutôt : « to drink a good tea very hot »

See you soon, tu ne met pas d'abréviation dans un devoir, sauf si ta prof autorise ce genre de mot.
J’espère que je t'ai aidé :)

Anonyme
Posté le 14 févr. 2014

Ce que j'ai mis entre cochets et écrit en gras doit être supprimé, sinon entre parenthèses ce sont des commentaires.

 

Dear diary,

Yesterday, I woke up with my friends Audrey, Céline and Sarah at half past seven [o’clock] (ou seven o'clock).
Celine is my best friend for ten years and Audrey [is my best friend] for four years.(ATTENTION: si tu utilises "since" c'est un point de départ ex: Celine is my friend since I'm ten = Celine est mon amie de puis que j'ai dix ans / "for" exprime la durée ex: Celine is my friend for ten years = Celine est mon amie de puis dix ans ou cela fait 10 ans que je suis amie avec Celine). Moreover Sarah is also one of my friend , she is so pretty and very intelligent. We were so tired (quand? In the morning because you had so much fun last night with the activities... développer ou You were so tired last night that you fell asleep very quickly). After that, the organizers served [our] us some breakfast. It was delicious, we have eaten english specialities like bacon and eggs. Then, [we got dressed] ("went back to our room to get dressed" pour faire le lien avec ta phrase suivante). The room where we have slept was so gorgeous, it was pink and yellow but it was very cold. At 10 o’clock we went horse-riding , but after we were so exhausted that we decided to draw to relax [us]. [I love summer camp because it allows me to meet people](tu devrais développer et parler des gens que tu as rencontré, sinon ta phrase n'a pas vraiment lieu d'être) ! We have climbed, do scuba diving and roller blading. But at one moment when we were rollerblading , I fell ( felt vient du verbe "to feel" qui veu dire sentir) on the ground and every body laughed. I was very stressed (and embarassed =embarassée)… Fortunately, my boyfriend Thibault rescued me [and I was in a dream](It felt like I was dreaming ou It felt like I was in a dream). I told  him that we should never break up ! Then we ate a picnic in a fabulous park where we could touch [the] squirrels ! On the afternoon, we went to a dance lesson ! The music was so cool and it made us feel happy ! After that we were tired and when we came back to the camp we took a shower and then we had dinner but on the evening there was a party and we had to dance, sing, and have fun !!
Now we are saturday morning and I have to go to the canteen to drink a hot good tea ! Today I would like to play basketball, volleyball, fencing, and several extreme sports like paragliding and parachuting !

See U soon

 

 

Fait attention, tu parles trop souvent au présent, ce sont des actions passées! Vérifie aussi tes pronoms, parfois tu mets "he" au lieu de "we".


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