Bac Oral d'Anglais

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour,

Voici un brouillon de mon expression d'anglais orale sur la notion Espaces et Echanges

Mon thème est: "Le rêve américain" et ma problématique est: "The American Dream is it always positive?"

J'ai utilisé deux documents pour répondre à cette problématique.

Pouvez-vous s'il vous plait m'aider à corriger ce début d'expression orale, s'il y'a des fautes ou des phrases incompréhensible... ^^(je n'ai pas un bon niveau en anglais ...)

Doc 1=  « American Land» is a song by B.Springsteen. 

http://www.springsteenlyrics.com/lyrics/a/americanland.php

Doc 2= C'est un texte: 

  No one tells you this at the beginning, but the days of a shopkeeper are empty. There
  are hours of silence punctuated briefly with bursts of customers who come and go
  within the span of a few minutes. [...] Left alone behind the counter, I was hit with the
  sudden terrible and frightening realization that everything I had cared for and loved
  was either lost or living on without me seven thousand miles away, and that what I had
  here was not a life, but a poorly constructed substitution made up of one uncle, two
  friends, a grim store and a cheap apartment. [...]
 In my monthly letters and phone calls to my mother and brother in Ethiopia, I tell
  them only that I own my business, and that business is okay. Never good. Never bad.
  Simply okay. Could be better. Grateful it’s not worse. I send them money once every
  few months when I can afford to, even though I know they don’t need it. I do it becauseI am in America, and because sending money home is supposed to be the consolation prize for not being home.

Dinaw Mengestu, The beautiful Things That heaven Bears(2007)

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

I am going talk about the Spaces and exchanges

First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterized our modern-day world.

This year in class we studied several documents about the spaces and exchanges and in particularly the document page 22 named « American Land » and the document of the mock exam , named "The Things That Heaven Bears beautiful" by Dinaw Mengestu.

In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen to talk about the American Dream

I will attempt to answer the question:The American Dream is it always positive?

To answer this question, I am going to study at first: How is perceived the american dream
To finish with: is it always so?

The first document named « american land » is a song by B.Springsteen.
This latter evokes the American dream of a méliorative way. Indeed we can read:
« Over there all the women wear silk and satin to their knees
And children, dear, the sweets, I hear, are growing on the trees
Gold comes rushing out the rivers straight into your hands
When you make your home in the American land »

Here, the author presents the American women as being richly dressed and america rich in gold. According to him all this will belong to the one who is going to establish residence in America.
Then, there is the refrain:
« There's diamonds in the sidewalk, the gutters lined in song
Dear, I hear that beer flows through the faucets all night long
There's treasure for the taking, for any hard working man
Who'll make his home in the American land »

Here Springsteen puts America as a paradise, or wealth and abundance dominate
Thus, people believe that the American dream exists, that everything is easier in united states, and this through music, for example, which have an immense reach.

The second document shows that the American dream is not always as people think. Indeed, it tells the story of a person who has emigrated from Ethiopia. This person is commercial, she says her life is boring, it does not considered this as a life. Furthermore, he's not rich, on the contrary, his store is sinister and its cheap apartment. He can not afford to send money to his family every month.

Merci d'avance pour votre précieuse aide !