Expression oral anglais: loctions and forms of power

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour, voici ma notion d'anglais sur la notion lieu et forme de pouvoir. J'aimerais savoir si mon plan est cohérent avec ma problématique et si quelqu'un pouvait me corriger les fautes ça serait parfait  :) 

Merci d'avance! 

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

J'ai fini cette notion mais surement avec quelque fautes ...

The notion I’m going to deal with is Spaces and Exchanges. Spaces and exchanges can be defined by the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterised our modern world. The issue is all citizens in the world are on an equal footing? On the one hand I’m going to talk about on the difference culture between countries in the world. On the other hand, we will study the education of the different countries.

To begin with my first part, I’m going to describe the Indian culture. A good example can be founded in Milestones in the history of India. The main religion is Hinduism. With the religion, beef is forbidden contrary to other religions. Moreover, India is the largest democracy because there are more 1 200 000 000 inhabitants. Then, families are encouraged to have only one or two children. We observe there are more men than women in India. Families prefer having boys to girls. This is due to different reason. Firstly, it’s more advantageous financially. Secondly a boy can take care of family affairs when parents are old. These data come from documents study in class: India’s girls go missing. To increase chances to having a boy, there are two illegals solutions: the gendercide where girls are killed at birth or the sex-selection who is abortion based on the sex of the foetus.

Now, I’m going to talk about my second part who is education in different countries. I would like illustrate this part through the document the right to education. In the past, few children didn’t go to school. They worked very young and with any dangers like Jenny. She worked in Britain at 12 years old in a cold mind where there were explosions. She worked for their parents. Yet, the situation nowadays hasn’t really changed. In poor countries, like Philippines or South Africa children work because they need money. Saabir he’s 13 years old. He sells newspapers and he goes only two hours a week at school. He wishes that his parents had more money and he wishes went to school more hours a day. What’s more, he risks his life because he sleeps in abandoned buildings and secondly bigger kids take his money. Political decision was created like the convention on the right of the child who protects every child under 18 years old from exploitation and it promises education although 115 million children don’t go to school. On the contrary, in rich countries, parents have money and kids go to school by reason of it’s an obligation and to be graduated. We can see this example in the document grades.

In conclusion I could say that there are lot of difference between countries in the world. Religion, culture, education are different. It exist inequality between a north rich and develop and a south poor and in development. To my mind, all citizens in the world are not on an equal footing because exist lot of difference between countries in the world. No, we can ask if these different conditions of life prepare us to get ready face a future?