Help me Again *^*

Publié le 18 avr. 2015 il y a 8A par Anonyme - Fin › 21 avr. 2015 dans 8A
1

Sujet du devoir

Re coucou et oui c'est encore moi et ce n'est pas fini ;) Je compte énormément sur vous :p

Vu que le Bac approche j'essaye de tout préparer à l'avance histoire de ne pas être prise de court avant le Jour J.

Voila je voudrais savoir si ce travail ne comporte pas trop de faute en effet l'anglais n'est pas ma matière favorite ^^' 

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

American Immigration

Introduction:

My presentation deals with the theme “spaces and exchanges” and more specifically the gap years.Firts of all, id'like to give a definition of this notion.
An exchange is the act og giving something in substitution for something else. Nowaday in the world, exchanges can take several forms like economic, cultural or movement of people like gap year for exemple.

PB:

We'll try to see if the USA is a really land of immigration.

Plan:

“ We are and always will be a nation of immigrants” say Barack Obama in his speech. The USA is characterize like a melting-pot of differents origins. We'll see in a first time the reasons of persons to immigrates in USA. On the second time we'll see if immigrants can really live the “ American dream”. To finish we'll see the hidden face of imigration in USA.

I) Partie:

In 1620 the first conquerors was Britains, they want flee religious persecutions in there contruie in the “May flowers.” They wanted to be free to leave their religion has they wanted. Their are the “ Pilgrim Father”, who have given the first name of New-York, New Amsterdam. It was the Religious reason; the first reason who build the USA to nowadays. We can speak of the progoms against the jews in Easter Europe, Russian or in Poland. The jews want to feel like the pilgrims father the persecution. Nowadays many people live their contrie to religeous reasons.
The political reason is the most important, we can see agains the persecution of jew by nazi in the ninety theerty's. We can talk to the french revolution, the Royalist in the late eighty century or th e Central Europ revolution in the mind ninety century. In the 1960 ( à nos jour ) the Cubans migrating to feel the Castro regim to go in USA and hoping have a better life in this contries.
The laste reason is the economic reason, the symbol of economic immigration is the Irish in the mind 19th century. All along the twenty century Hispanics have fled powerty.

This three reasons are the most popular nowaday and in the past. Their are many other reasons to immigrate like the willingness to live the american dream.

 

II)Partie:

American dream or the dream who want leave every peaople in their live. It is a notion that the USA are a land of opportunities every succes are avalables provaded you are ready to work for it. Like in the document we can see what is the american dream: two children, girl and boy, a spacious houses, modern appliances. It's a really materialistic dream it's like nowaday, nothing has really changed. Nowadays this dream is the reason to live of certain persons. We can see every day many famous peoples who have success in USA, like Jean Claude Van Damme. We say that the american dream is only a dream that can be made by strangers. However Many Etasunian dream and realized this dream like Sylvester Stallone ,Steve Jobs or Bararak Obama.
The USA meant opportunities, it was a magnet it was attractive people like magnet, for exemple we can see the golden rush. During this periode 19th century many people go to California. An illustrious man who succesfull is Levi Strauss the creator of branded Levis. Originally he wanted to harvest gold but finally he has created a pants thourght of burlap cloth. He said “ Everuthing is possibles if you are ready to travel”.
Indeed to realize american dream ut's necessary to travel

The american dream is a universal dream which can be realize by people who are ready to travel to have succesfull. However it's just the front side of USA there are, of course, a hidden face of this land.

III) Partie

The hadden face of the immigration is the most popular face. The dream seems to be a long way away. The mood in the USA is dark, pessimistics, people seems to be discourage and hopeless.
Nowadayr many peoplpe want to go in USA like Mexico. We can see in this document differents pictures: On the picture 1, 5 and 6 peoples who are on the border of between Mexico and USA, on the picture 1 and 5 we can see people who control border to avoid that Mexico immigrate to US and on the picture 6 we can see mexico at the border who seem to look the other border. Even though that USA are open this pictures show that is not the reality, the immigration is controlled see even rejected. This population seems to want go in this land, we can see this on the picture 2 where it written “ Let the dream continue!”. On the picture 4 there is on a panel a kind of prevention between migrant who crossing the border. The border seem to be close and don't open to the migrants. However the USA seem to have a hypocrite face because on the picture 3 the caricature of Oncle Sam who say “ Keep out” so the migrant can't go in the USA. However the employers says “ Help Wanted” so the migrant go in this land ti have a job without papers.

Conclusion :

The USA have a history of immigration really various. People leave there contruie to escape to different reason and want go in Amercia to have a different life, a bettre life. Nowadays and in the past USA is symbolize by american dream, many people want to leave and realize this dream. However it's just extern face of USA, nowaday many people want to leave their contruis but they can't because the borders are controled, so they can't cross this borders. The american dream seem to be just an illusion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Merci :) 

 

 

 

 

 

 




4 commentaires pour ce devoir


1
Anonyme
Posté le 19 avr. 2015

Bonjour, ton introduction ne correspond pas à ton thème sur l'immigration. (Tu as pris la même que pour ton oral sur les années sabbatiques ?)

Du coup je ne corrige qu'à partir de ta problématique...

We'll try to see if the USA is a really land of immigration. : ordre des mots : "if the USA really is a land of immigration"

characterize like : "characterized"

We'll see in a first time the reasons of persons to immigrates in USA : "in a first part" "the reasons for people to immigrate to the USA"

On the second time : "In a second part"

in USA. : "in the USA"

Partie 1

In 1620 the first conquerors was Britains : "were British". "Britain" c'est le pays. Et encore, c'est abrégé.

they want flee religious persecutions in there contruie in the “May flowers : "they wanted to flee religious persecutions in their countries". Le reste de ta phrase n'est pas très clair, si on traduit ça donne "ils voulaient échapper aux persécutions religieuses dans leurs pays dans le Mayflower."

They wanted to be free to leave their religion has they wanted : "to live their religion as they wanted". "Leave" = partir. "Live" = vivre

Their are the “ Pilgrim Father”, who have given the first name of New-York, New Amsterdam. : "They are". Ne confond pas "Their" = Leur et "They" = ils. "They founded New Amsterdam, which later became New York". Je pense que c'est plus clair pour la deuxième partie de ta phrase.

It was the Religious reason; the first reason who build the USA to nowadays. : que veux-tu dire par là ?

We can speak of the progom. against the jews in Easter Europe, Russian or in Poland. The jews want to feel like the pilgrims father the persecution. Nowadays many people live their contrie to religeous reasons. : "Eastern Europe, Russia" Je ne comprends pas ta phrase sur les juifs, si je la traduis, cela veut dire que les juifs veulent ressentir la persécution comme les pères pèlerins ? "Nowadays many people leave their countries for religious reasons."

we can see agains the persecution of jew by nazi in the ninety theerty's. We can talk to the french revolution, the Royalist in the late eighty century or th e Central Europ revolution in the mind ninety century. : Il faut que tu retravailles cette partie. Je pense que ce serait plus logique de mettre ces événements dans l'ordre chronologique. Et je ne comprends pas le tout début de ta phrase. Ensuite "ninety" = 90. Tu veux "1930's" = "nineteen thirties". 18ème siècle = "eighteenth century. Le milieu du 19ème siècle = "the mid nineteenth century".

In the 1960 ( à nos jour ) the Cubans migrating to feel the Castro regim to go in USA and hoping have a better life in this contries. : "From 1960 to nowadays, Cubans have been migrating to flee Castro's regime to go to the USA, hoping to have a better life in this country".

The laste reason is the economic reason, the symbol of economic immigration is the Irish in the mind 19th century. All along the twenty century Hispanics have fled powerty. : C'est un peu étrange parce qu'on dirait que la seconde phrase explique la première, alors qu'en réalité c'est un second exemple. "mid 19th century" ; "20th century" ; "poverty"

This three reasons are the most popular nowaday and in the past. Their are many other reasons to immigrate like the willingness to live the american dream. : "These three reasons... nowadays... There are".

Partie 2 :

American dream or the dream who want leave every peaople in their live : "The American dream or the dream everyone wants to experience once in their life."

the USA are a land of opportunities every succes are avalables provaded you are ready to work for it : "the USA is a land", c'est le nom du pays, il faut donc utiliser un singulier. "You can reach every success provided you are ready to work for it"

two children, girl and boy : "a girl and a boy"

Many Etasunian : "Etasunian" n'existe pas. "Many American"

The USA meant opportunities, it was a magnet it was attractive people like magnet, for exemple we can see the golden rush : Je ne suis pas sûre que la comparaison avec un aimant soit nécessaire. "The USA meant opportunities, it attracted people, we can see it for example with the golden rush"

During this periode 19th century many people go to California. An illustrious man who succesfull is Levi Strauss the creator of branded Levis. : "During the 19th century, many people moved to California" "man who was sucessfull was Levis Strauss, the creator or the brand Levis".

Originally he wanted to harvest gold but finally he has created a pants thourght of burlap cloth : "harvest" est utilisé pour les récoltes de fruits et de légumes..."pants made of burlap cloth"

travel to have succesfull. : "to be successful" ou "to have success"

there are, of course, a hidden face of this land. : "there is"

Partie 3 :

Mexico = Le Mexique. Pour parler des gens : "Mexican"

border of between Mexico and USA, : "border between Mexico and the USA"

Even though that USA are open this pictures show that is not the reality, the immigration is controlled see even rejected : Je suppose que tu veux dire qu'on pense que les USA sont ouverts donc :"Even if it thought that the USA are open... the immigration is controlled and even rejected". Je ne vois pas ce que ton "see" fait dans ta phrase.

This population seems to want go in this land : "to want to go to this land"

On the picture 4 there is on a panel a kind of prevention between migrant who crossing the border : ??? Je ne comprends pas ta phrase.

Voilà, le reste de tes erreurs peut être éliminé si tu te relis avec attention.
Bon courage !

Anonyme
Posté le 19 avr. 2015

HEY !!! ;) Oui en effet ces deux sujets sont sur la même notion et comme je l'ai dis l'anglais et moi ça fait deux x') alors j'essaye de ne pas faire trop compliqué dès le début ^^'

Sinon merci énormément pour otn aide ;) 

Anonyme
Posté le 19 avr. 2015

Le reste de ta phrase n'est pas très clair, si on traduit ça donne "ils voulaient échapper aux persécutions religieuses dans leurs pays dans le Mayflower." 

 j'ai marqué thank to May flowers, je ne sais pas si c'est correct ^^ 


It was the Religious reason; the first reason who build the USA to nowadays. : que veux-tu dire par là ?

Je voulais dire que cette raisons était la première raison d'immigration qui a fondé les EU ^^ 

The political reason is the most important, we can see the french revolution, the Royalist in the late eighty century. We can talk to the Central Europ revolution in the mind ninety century or the persecution of jew by nazi in the ninety theerty's. In the 1960 ( à nos jour ) the Cubans migrating to feel the Castro regim to go in USA and hoping have a better life in this contries.

J'ai donc modifier cette, partie : The political reason is the most important, we can see the french revolution, the Royalist in the late eighty century. We can talk to the Central Europ revolution in the mind ninety century or the persecution of jew by nazi in the ninety theerty's. In the 1960 ( à nos jour ) the Cubans migrating to feel the Castro regim to go in USA and hoping have a better life in this contries.


Many Etasunian : "Etasunian" n'existe pas. "Many American"

Je ne sais pas je veux parler ici uniquement des  Étasuniens et non des américains ^^'

On the picture 4 there is on a panel a kind of prevention between migrant who crossing the border : ??? Je ne comprends pas ta phrase.

En fait sur cette image on peut voir un panneau de prévention avec " Caution" écrit dessus et sous ce mot on voit une famille qui semble courir pour traverser la frontière.

Anonyme
Posté le 19 avr. 2015

Ne t'inquiète pas, ton anglais est loin d'être catastrophique, je n'irais pas jusqu'à dire que l'anglais et toi ça fait deux, tu parviens à communiquer tes idées.
Si tu souhaite conserver à peu près la même intro, enlève au moins "and more specifically the gap years." qui ne correspond pas à ce que tu dis pas la suite sur le thème de l'immigration.

j'ai marqué thank to May flowers, je ne sais pas si c'est correct ^^ : "thanks to". Oui, on comprend mieux comme ça

It was the Religious reason; the first reason who build the USA to nowadays. => The first reason to immigrate was the religious reason. It built the USA as we know it today.

J'ai donc modifier cette, partie : The political reason is the most important, we can see the french revolution, the Royalist in the late eighty century. We can talk to the Central Europ revolution in the mind ninety century or the persecution of jew by nazi in the ninety theerty's. In the 1960 ( à nos jour ) the Cubans migrating to feel the Castro regim to go in USA and hoping have a better life in this contries. : "we can see it with the French revolution... eighteenth century. We can talk about... mid nineteenth century... From 1960 to nowadays, Cubans have been migrating to flee Castro's regime to go to the USA in hope to have a better life in this country"

Je ne sais pas je veux parler ici uniquement des Étasuniens et non des américains ^^' : Je sais bien mais en anglais il n'y a pas de terme pour dire Étasunien,  avec "American" on comprend tout de suite qu'il s'agit d'eux et pas des Canadiens par exemple. A la rigueur, tu peux dire "US-American" si tu préfères préciser, ce n'est pas très utilisé mais ça existe.

On the picture 4 there is on a panel a kind of prevention between migrant who crossing the border => "there is a prevention panel with a family of migrants who are trying to cross the border on it"

 


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