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Bonjour, Je dois faire une histoire retraçant l'histoire de Baaba Djibo, un homme qui a été capturé. J'ai écrit mon texte, mais je penses que j'ai beaucoup de fautes de grammaire, orthographe. Pouvez-vous me les corriger ? Merci d'avance.Où j'en suis dans mon devoir
One day life of a young man of twenty-five named Baaba Djibo changed radically. It was a June 6, 1837, to around six o'clock while he was still sleeping.First, Baaba was caught and taken by force with the other members of Ngorongoro, his village. In total, there were more than fifty, even children were forced to go with the slaves traders.
Afterward, The slave traders took them in a boat in the direction of America. Baaba Djibo was both angry and helpless about this situation. Each person in his village was not considered as human beings. They were crammed and shackled. the trip was really horrible. The journey was very long. Some people did not survive the ordeal as the brother of Baaba. But this was only the beginning, and Baba knew.
Then, Groups of slaves herded towards the place where they will be sold in auction. They were chained them, under the supervision of two people who had whips, and spears and guns. Baaba was in last place, just ahead of him was his sister Aminata. He was anxious about the fate that it might hold for them. Baaba Djibo managed to break away, and it will run into the fields without knowing where to go.
Finally, After having ran for several minutes, Baaba turned around to see if they followed him. He saw his master, Jack Dawson, who went with other white. Baaba trying to hide as best they could, but it was very difficult. Now he was a run away and he knew then that it would last long. But what frightened him most was the fact that all his village and his family are still captured. Baaba Djibo. He decided to fly anyway, even if for him it was very hard to leave. He showed a great courage. He ran for several hours to be away from his masters to hope without leaving. Babba Djibo was free but he was left alone in a country he did not know.
3 commentaires pour ce devoir
dernier paragraphe, j'ai oublié d'enlever "having" dans "after having running", ça devient "after running"
je ne suis pas convaincue par cette tournure de phrase:
"about the fate that it might hold for them"
juste après, j'ai oublié: he RAN into the fields
je ne suis pas convaincue par cette tournure de phrase:
"about the fate that it might hold for them"
juste après, j'ai oublié: he RAN into the fields
Bonjour,
Juste quelques tuyaux pour ton devoir. Je ne vais reprendre toute la correction car je pense que ton professeur s'en chargera et cela ne te serai pas tres utile.
L'erreur majeur que tu as faite se trouve dans les temps. Tu as apparemment choisi de parler au passé, if faut donc que tu relise ton texte en traitant les apparitions du futur a plusieurs endroits par example : "Groups of slaves herded towards the place where they will (DEVRAIT ETRE WOULD CAR TU EST DANS LE PASSE) be sold in auction".
Autre chose : "Baaba was in last place" on dit plutot "at the last position" ou "at the end of the line/queue". (si c'est bien cela que tu voulais dire...)
Each person in his village was not considered as human beings. pas de "s" a being car c'est chaque person, tu dis bien "was" et pas "were" dans ta phrase.
J'espere que cela t'aideras un peu.
BON COURAGE!!
Juste quelques tuyaux pour ton devoir. Je ne vais reprendre toute la correction car je pense que ton professeur s'en chargera et cela ne te serai pas tres utile.
L'erreur majeur que tu as faite se trouve dans les temps. Tu as apparemment choisi de parler au passé, if faut donc que tu relise ton texte en traitant les apparitions du futur a plusieurs endroits par example : "Groups of slaves herded towards the place where they will (DEVRAIT ETRE WOULD CAR TU EST DANS LE PASSE) be sold in auction".
Autre chose : "Baaba was in last place" on dit plutot "at the last position" ou "at the end of the line/queue". (si c'est bien cela que tu voulais dire...)
Each person in his village was not considered as human beings. pas de "s" a being car c'est chaque person, tu dis bien "was" et pas "were" dans ta phrase.
J'espere que cela t'aideras un peu.
BON COURAGE!!
Ils ont besoin d'aide !
- Aucun devoir trouvé, poste ton devoir maintenant.
je te corrige:
IN one day THE life of a young man of twenty-five YEAR-OLD named Baaba Djibo changed radically. It was IN June 6, 1837, around six o'clock while he was still sleeping.
First, Baaba was caught and taken by force with the other members his village, Ngorongoro. In total, there were more than fifty, even children were forced to go with the slave traders.
Afterward, the slave traders took them in a boat TO America. Baaba Djibo was both angry and helpless about this situation. Each person in his village was not considered as human beings. They were crammed and shackled. The trip was really horrible. The journey was very long. Some people did not survive the ordeal LIKE Baaba'S BROTHER. But this was only the beginning and Baba knew IT.
Then, groups of slaves herded towards the place where they WOULD be sold in auction. They were chained TOGETHER, under the supervision of two people who had whips, spears and guns. Baaba was in last place, just ahead of him was his sister Aminata. He was anxious about the fate that it might hold for them. Baaba Djibo managed to break away and HE run into the fields without knowing where to go.
Finally, after having RUNNING for several minutes, Baaba turned around to see if they followed him. He saw his master, Jack Dawson, who went with AN ANOTHER White. Baaba TRIED to hide as best HE could, but it was very difficult. Now he was a run-away and he knew then that it would last long. But what frightened him most was the fact that all his village and his family WERE still captured. Baaba Djibo decided to fly anyway, even if IT WAS very hard FOR HIM to leave. He showed a great courage. He ran for several hours to be away from his master to hope without leaving(??). Babba Djibo was free but he was ALL alone in a country he did not know.
que veux-tu dire par "to hope without leaving" à la fin de l'avant dernière phrase?
quelques erreurs de conjugaison (retour au présent, futur)
je t'ai parfois modifié la syntaxe (trop française)