Correction texte anglais

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour,
Je suis en train de préparer un oral. Pour cela, il nous est demandé un script. Pourriez-vous lire mon script et si besoin le corriger ?
Merci beaucoup.... (il y a peut-être des répétitions à supprimer je pense) sinon commentez afin de m'aider à améliorer ce script et surtout il faut vous fier au barème que j'ai mis en gras ci-dessous).

Axe pour m'aider , voici la notation :
- Qualité de l'anglais (grammaire, richesse du vocabulaire) 5 points
- Présentation de l'invention (clarté, concision) 5 points
- Efficacité de l'argumentaire (propos convaincants, percutants 5 points
- Prononciation 5 points

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Good morning everybody !

So, What if you could watch your home clean itself ?

Indeed, everybody knows that, do the housework is really a depressing chore.
What if you could watch your home clean itself ?
Imagine a vacuum cleaner equipped with a touch screen that allows to program the desired operating settings. It seems impossible, but it is possible thanks to my invention! I invented a device that enables to no longer to need to do housework. I called him “the vacuum cleaner of lazy”. Actually, my invention was created for people who hate to do the housework, thus for many people. First, no need to recharge him or to use batteries, it only recharges itself at night or when you do not use it. Then, it is equipped with a computer system and thus, it’s possible to program the desired aspiration time and the room to be aspirated.
I checked, and it works, it’s an awesome invention !
To conclude, I made a patent application last month, and you will soon be able to buy it and no longer consider the household as a chore,
but as a real moment of pleasure.

My presentation is over; See you soon and thanks for your attention !