- Partage ce devoir avec tes amis !
Sujet du devoir
Bonjour,
Je dois faire une lettre à un ami pour lui raconter comment c'est passé mon voyage aux USA (immigrants fin XIXè début XXè) et ma nouvelle vie. J'ai donc fait mais j'aurais besoin si possible que quelqu'un vérifie mon travail (j'ai mi certaines chose entre crochet ou je ne suis vraiment pas sur mais le reste aussi), que ce soit au niveau du vocabulaire/grammaire/syntaxe...
Merci beaucoup :)
Où j'en suis dans mon devoir
Dear James,
Hello my friend, I’m writing this from New York City. First of all, as you know, I left Europe from Plymouth’s harbor as a steerage passenger. I was seasick all along the journey because the steerage conditions were very unpleasant and the ship was crowded but we finally arrived after approximately 3 weeks.
Before we landed, we saw the Statue of Liberty, everyone [everybody?] was moved, and we knew that the journey was over, it represented the start of our new life and a better world, it was also a symbol of liberty. I was like everyone, for me the statue of Liberty was very impressive and meaningful.
Secondly, we started the medical tests in Ellis Island. The first doctor checked if I had [je suis pas sur de la formulation] abnormalities but he let me go without chalk marks unlike some. On the contrary, the second doctor said that I had a disease, I didn’t remember the name but he said that it wasn’t very serious so they sent me to hospital, this moment was awkward [j’ai pas trouvé d’autre mot] because I saw few peoples who were sent back to their home country and I heard their cry but I left it two days after so I was really glad when I came out. Then the registration clerk questioned me about where I came from, my money and few basic questions. Here too I passed it easily [formulation?] and at this moment I felt free.
Finally, after these events [events??], the boat docked at the Hudson River and I was in New York City for the first time of my life, it seems nothing but it was the greatest moment of my life, I knew that I was fortunate because from this moment my life probably be better. However I realized that it wouldn’t be easy in the beginning, because I didn’t know this city and I felt lost and distraught
About my new life, I’m working on a factory with assembly-line production work [formulation?]. It’s an hard work, I have long day, I don’t earn a lot of money and I’m always exhausted but this is an honest job and I won’t stay at this work all my life, I’m already searching for a better job. Otherwise, the other immigrants are really nice and I meet a lot of people contrary to the American who seems not happy to see us arrive on their country [Formulation?]
My feelings have evolved compared to when I came here but now I’m really fulfilled and I know that it’s better than to live in Europa. . I hope you’ll receive my letter and maybe join me soon
With best wishes,
3 commentaires pour ce devoir
J'ai vérifié il n'y a apparemment aucune fautes bonne chance !
Tu devrais te méfier, puisqu’elle fait des fautes en français.
Bonjour,
J'ai réécrit ta lettre car il y a des fautes de phrases qui sont petites mais importantes.
Dear James,
Hello my old friend, I am writing this letter to you from New York City. I left Europe from Plymouth harbor. The ship was crowded and I felt seasick the whole journey because the weather conditions were very unpleasant but we finally arrived approximately three weeks later.
Just before we entered the harbor we saw the famous Statue of Liberty that left all the passengers of the ship awe-stricken that represents the start of a new life for us all. But it also represents freedom (for all that may have the privilege to encounter it). This Statue was as important to me as everyone else, so meaningful and full of hope...
Once he had arrived on Ellis Island we started the long ( grueling) medical testing. The first doctor checked if I had any physical abnormalities or if I was disabled ( in any way ) but he thankfully let me go without a chalk mark unlike some. Sadly, the second doctor, told me I had some kind of a disease that wasn't very serious but that I needed further testing so they sent me to the hospital. I was quite (empathetic) sad because I saw people a few people who were sent back to their home countries and I heard them cry. I was relieved ( as you can imagine ) to leave two days later. Then the registration clerk interrogated me on where I came from, if I had brought any money with me and other personal questions. Here too I managed to answer them easily which made me feel free.
Finally, after all these events, the boat docked on the Hudson River and I officially arrived in New York City for the first time of my life, it seems like nothing but it was the greatest moment of my life, I knew I was fortunate because from this moment onwards, my (quality of ) life would improve. However, I realized it wouldn't be easy in the beginning because I didn't know this city and I felt lost and overwhelmed about my new life ( ahead of me ).
I am now working in a factory which does assembly line production work. It is a very difficult job, I work long hours, I don't earn a lot of money but it is an honest job and I know I won't work here my whole ( entire ) life. I'm already searching for a better job. Otherwise, the other immigrants are really nice and I've met a lot of people different to americans who don't seem to happy to see us starting our new lives in their country.
My feelings have evolved since I've arrived here but now I have fulfilled a ( life-long ) wish of mine and I know my live will be better here that it would ever be in Europe. I hope you receive my letter and hopefully join me soon.
With best wishes,
Gras : corrections de syntaxes ou de fautes d'orthographe
(parenthèses ) : Mots possible d'utilisation mais un niveau plus élevé
Ceci est une version corrigée. Je suis anglaise mais j'habite en France depuis longtemps. J'espère cela t'aideras. Sinon elle était très bien.
Bon courage !
Ils ont besoin d'aide !
- Aucun devoir trouvé, poste ton devoir maintenant.
J'ai vérifié il n'y a apparemment aucune fautes bonne chance !