correction pour un exposé sur la pollution

Publié le 29 mars 2010 il y a 12A par Anonyme - Fin › 2 avr. 2010 dans 12A
17.00 / 20

Sujet du devoir

J'aurais voulu de l'aide pour la correction des phrases svp.L'exposé porte sur la pollution.
Merci d'avance.

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

According to the United Nations Organization, pollution-related diseases kill millions of children a year. In fact, even if many nations worldwide have decided respect environmental legislations in order to reduce the adverse effects of pollution, new polluters, developing countries, make the situation worse. That’s why we must intensify our efforts to control and treat pollution
We can wonder what we can do to reduce pollution. We will begin by a short presentation of pollution, and then we will speak about causes, effects and regulation and monitoring pollution.

I) Presentation:
- Pollution can come from a natural event, for example with volcanic eruptions, or can be the result of human activities. It isn’t a new phenomenon, it is the industrial revolution and the consumer society that gave birth to pollution as we know it today. One of the most serious events was The Great Smog that affected London in December 1952. The smog killed at least 12 000 people.
- Pollution is defined as the contamination by substances that are harmful to living organisms. So it can appear under several forms:
air pollution, water pollution, soil contamination, radioactive contamination, noise pollution, light pollution, visual pollution, thermal pollution

II) Mains causes of pollution
- Pollution comes from both natural and man made sources but according to the report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) in 2007, humans have been the primary cause of global warming since 1950.

Sources of air, water and soil pollution are more or less the same. Thus the leading causes are:
- First in agriculture:
Intensive farming with pesticides, herbicides and fertilizers
Burning of natural vegetation/ slash and burn practices and deforestation which increase gas and prevent the absorption of oxygen
Intensive husbandry which increases gases during the digestion of ruminants and soil contamination by excrements
-Then in industry:
There are industrial wastes, dusts and smokes from factories
Pollution caused by goods transport
Authorized landfill sites which eliminate wastes by burial
- And to finish, domestic pollution with cleaning products, heating, paint, hair spray, aerosol sprays, solvents, waste and detergent spilled into wastewater

III) Effects of pollution
Heath effects of pollution:
- Pollution effects are many and various. Indeed, pollution causes diseases more or less serious on humans’ health. Thus pollution can cause respiratory diseases, cardiovascular diseases or cancer but also death. For example, the World Health Organization states that 2.4 million people die each year from causes directly attributable to air pollution. As for water pollution, it causes approximately 14,000 deaths per day, mostly due to contamination of drinking water by untreated sewage in developing countries.

Environmental effects of pollution:
- Pollution affects also animal and vegetable species. Thus, pollution can cause acid rain which lowers the pH value of soil and puts in jeopardy plants and fish life. Soil can become infertile and unsuitable (improper) for plants and trees and, lakes and streams can kill aquatic species.
- Smog can reduce the amount of sunlight received by plants to carry out photosynthesis and damage plants but also cause pulmonary diseases.
-To finish, the emission of greenhouse gases leads to global warming and the rise in the water level.

IV) Regulation, monitoring
At national level:
- To protect the environment from the adverse effects of pollution, many nations worldwide have enacted legislation. Regulations consist in a first time in controlling emissions and effluents into air, water or soil thanks to pollution control devices and a second time, in cleaning and eliminating pollutants by sewage treatment, waste treatment by centralized sewage treatment plants and the cleanup of soil pollution by aeration of soils at the contaminated site, thermal remediation by introduction of heat, bioremediation.
Moreover, 141 countries ratified an international environmental treaty, the Kyoto protocol, in order to reduce their emissions of carbon dioxide and five other greenhouse gases. Then, a carbon tax in Europe is envisaged.

At individual level:
- People can also contribute to reduce pollution with simple measures. For example,
Taking public transport, carpool, cycle
Respecting the speed limit
Adding plants and trees to the surrounding environment
Eating local food
Eating organic food without pesticide
Reducing your packaging, plastic bags and waste
Reducing the use of aerosols, solvents

To conclude, we can say that most countries become aware of damages caused by human activities even if the measures are almost insufficient. That’s why we should change our habits.

3 commentaires pour ce devoir

Posté le 30 mars 2010
Je suis pas bilingue mais ça me semble pas mal du tout.

Une ou deux remarques :
- pas de Organization en Anglais pour ONU, on dit juste UN
- phrase 2 : il y a un problème avec "decided respect environmental legislations".. je pense qu'il manque "decided to respect" ou alors j'ai pas bien saisi le sens de la phrase.
- Paragraphe sur la présentation, j'aurais mis au lieu de "with volcanic eruptions" plutot "from volcanic eruptions"
- Paragraphe III : au lieu de "causes diseases more or less serious" j'aurais mis "causes more or less serious diseases"
Posté le 30 mars 2010

en effet pas mal du tout!

tu ne fais pas beaucoup de fautes et celles-ci ne sont pas énormissimes...

Intro: millions of children PER year. have decided TO respect.
will begin WITH.

I/ presentation, ok

II/ Main causes of pollution: (agriculture) absorption of CARBON DIOXIDE (et pas oxygen)

III/ Effects of pollution: cause more or less serious diseases on human health. the rise OF the water level

IV/ Regulation Monitoring: regulations consist at first in (...) and secondly in (..).

Conclusion: ok

Posté le 30 mars 2010

Hello there!
have decided TO respect
We MAY wonder
and how to monitor pollution (?)
and consumer society
12,000 people
Bye for now!

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