Correction Notion Anglais

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour, 

J'ai un oral blanc pour mes notions d'anglais le 5 mars et il se trouve quand il y en a une qui n'est pas corrigée.

Quelqu'un peut-il m'apporter une correction ainsi que quelques conseils? Merci

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Voici la notion :

Places and forms of power

I am going to deal with the notion places and forms of power. First of all, I’d like to give you my definition of it.

A place can be a geographical area like a continent, a country or a city. Power is the ability to influence, control people’s behaviour in politics, economic or social science. Then, it exists a real division between those who have power and those who don’t have it and that can lead to conflicts and tensions even if we try to create social cohesion. The notion includes differents forms of power, the submission or the opposition over the power.

I will talk about the notion Places and Forms of Power through the topic « Studying in an American university » which is the power of money.

To illustrate my notion, I have chosen two documents that we studied in class : one about the rise of the tuiton fees with the point of vue of two English teenagers about it and one about an american girl, who tells how she avoided student loans.

 The first document is an article from the guardian, it dates from 2010 but the issue is still in forced nowadays. It is composed of two testimonies from teenagers being parts of the Youth Parlement, a kind of City Council. They are discussing about the rise of tuiton fees.

First, there is Emily Adams, who is against it. She believes that high qualifications could be destroyed because of the law. That law was voted by the English Mps to increase the amount of money that students have to pay to go to university. Besides, Emily says that the law will create a widening class divide, people from a less affluent back ground can be discriminated concerning studies. In fact, having money shouldn’t give you the right to higher education. A diplomer should be the result of efforts, hard work and commitment rather than a reflection of money. To finish, Emily thinks that the value of university is to meet different people, make diversity, and that, owing will be deeply reduced.

Then, there is James Bartle who is in favor the rise of tuiton fees. In fact, he thinks that to maintain high standarts universities, students must contribute to funding them, degrees are an investment in the future. Indeed, after being qualified, if we start earning a lot, he find it normal to make a contribution back into the future. Finally, James thinks that students have a choice, either you go to a prestigious university financed by graduates or you go to a thirdrate university paying less but your diplomer will get little value.

 This document shows that all the students don’t have the same point of vue like Emily and James. The government had the power to change all the prices and they did it, even if people are against it. It’s cleary illustrate the notion of Power.

 The second document is an extract from a website, it dates from a few years ago but it is still a current issue. It is composed of text and a cartoon. First, the cartoon shows a student meeting a guidance consellor. He wonders to her why he should go to college and the women, of course, gives him a logical answer, that is to say, get a degree, get a good job, make more money and pay back your college loans.

Then, the cartoon introduce the text which the main topic deals with a testimony of a former student, Crystal, about the way she succeeded and payed her studies without asking for loans.

Going to college was obvious for Crystal because it was a family tradition but she knew it would be costly. So, she started working from an early age, like a babysitter to save money. Then, she started college and she immediatly worked as a help-desk attendant in the campus. At the same time, she got a scolarship due to her merit and her parents helped her. However, she lacked $1200 every semester, consequently, she shared her room with a flatmate and she spent very little money for food. As it was not enough, she took a second job as a blackjack dealer and a third one as a tax-officer. She also borrowed money from her parents. At last, she graduated from college with honors but she was compared to work 60 hours a week besides she owed $8000 to her parents. Fortunately, her parents forgot her debt as a graduation present. We can say that Crystal got away thanks to her bravour, her responsability, her determination, her work and her strong will.

With this document, we see that those who don’t have enough money, to finance their studies, had to cope with. That is to say, they had the power to decide if they had to go to a prestigious university and work hard besides to pay their studies, like Crystal does, or if they had to go to a less prestigious university without work besides. It’s our choice, our power. It’s cleary illustrate the notion of Power.

To conclude, these documents show that studying in an American University or in an English University, it’s all the same. It shows that if you have money, you have the advantage to choose to go to any university you want and to have the best qualifications, it’s the power. In fact, universities is an essentiel element of our society. The raise of tuiton fees in England and in America makes students anxious about their future. However it’s not the case in all the countries like in France, for example.