Expression écrite d'Anglais

Publié le 22 nov. 2011 il y a 12A par Anonyme - Fin › 24 nov. 2011 dans 12A
5

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour , j'ai un sujet à traiter en anglais et j'ai donc fait cette expression écrite , voici le sujet :
Would you agree with wearing a school uniform?
Pouvez vous me corriger ou éventuellement me donner vos idées si vous voulez en apporter .
Merci beaucoup d'avance.

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

School uniforms are standardized for regular school attendance worn in conformity with school policy . When used, they form the basis of a school's dress code.
In this text we will look at school uniforms and the potential benefits and problems associated with school uniforms and whether they are in fact truly effective.

The School uniform can be positive …

School uniforms would save parents money because today the clothes are expensive especially those of marks.
Moreover , the marks shows the social categories .That’s why , the child who’s parents wouldn’t or couldn’t buy them the newest fad , wouldn’t be embarrassed or harassed because of their cloths.
It goes without saying that the children social standing would be based more on individual character and less their economic status.
The principal point of the integration of the uniform at the school is of above all to put equally all the pupils some is them categories socio professional.
Also, we can see that with the school uniform, there would be fewer discriminations in particular with the marks because certain relatives(parents) do not want or cannot buy designer clothes. And certain children or teenagers are bothered by them clothes.
Uniforms are much less expensive than the fashionable clothes which the pupils generally wish to wear.
Clothes provoke clans, we distinguish some examples which often return in high schools or colleges : the Gothic, hippy-cool, the sportsmen, trendy, etc...
The port of the uniform in highly-rated one also have a practice, we do not have to choose in the morning what we have to put or not. And that would also avoid any overflowing, as dresses vulgar or in tendency discriminatory (death's-heads, images on the not corresponding T-shirts)

..But it can be negative.

Clothes are at present the object of indentification and of personalization. The port of the uniform would remove personality's elements of each .Lorsqu' we are young it is essential for some to assert differing from some of the others in particular with the clothing choices.
It is not a question of hiding behind a uniform, but of learning to live some with the others, with our differences.
The uniform would stand out as a military universe, with common clothes as wire-mesh. It would give an appearance of traditionalism, stricter and it would delete liberties.
The uniform is often uncomfortable (skirts in winter). So, we can see that often the uniform is not the same for the boys and the girls, what contributes to the separation of the sexes in the society.

Furthermore, certain relatives would be against the fact to pay clothes which their children would hate.

The discriminations can always exist with hairstyles: the fact that some people could make them adjust and the others not, the make-up, the bags, the piercings, the tattoos …


According to, me, to join the port of school uniform can bring that positive points under certain conditions. For example, you wouldn’t should authorize the adjustment, the excessive make-up, the piercings, the tattoos and the other accessories which can come to oppose the objective of the uniform. Furthermore, to keep personality's elements we could choose colors and give (free) pines or brooches to be decorated on the uniform.



4 commentaires pour ce devoir


5
Anonyme
Posté le 22 nov. 2011
au lieu de "in fact" je mettrais "actually"

School uniforms would save parents money because today the clothes are expensive especially those of marks.
School uniforms can help parents to save money because clothes are expensive, especially when they are branded clothes.

Moreover, brands show social categories (je mettrais Brands tend to reveal social categories)

That’s why , the child who’s parents wouldn’t or couldn’t buy them the newest fad , wouldn’t be embarrassed or harassed because of their cloths.
That's why the children whose parents can't buy them the newest fad won't be embarrassed or harassed because of their clothes.

It goes without saying that the children social standing would be based more on individual character and less their economic status.
...children's social status should be based more on individual character than on their economic status.

The principal point of the integration of the uniform at the school is of above all to put equally all the pupils some is them categories socio professional.
The main point in integrating uniforms at school is, above all, to put all the pupils on an equal footing, whatever social category they may belong to.

Also, we can see that with the school uniform, there would be fewer discriminations in particular with the marks because certain relatives(parents) do not want or cannot buy designer clothes. And certain children or teenagers are bothered by them clothes.
We can also notice that thanks to school uniforms, there would be fewer discriminations, especially those generated by brands. Indeed, some parents do not want or can't afford buying brandname clothes.

Uniforms are much less expensive than the fashionable clothes which the pupils generally wish to wear.
Uniforms are much less expensive (much cheaper) than the fashionable clothes that pupils usually wish to wear.

Clothes provoke clans, we distinguish some examples which often return in high schools or colleges : the Gothic, hippy-cool, the sportsmen, trendy, etc...
Clothes bring about cliques, we can evoke some examples which can often be found in high schools or in colleges: The goths, etc...
Anonyme
Posté le 22 nov. 2011
In fact ou actually c'est pareil je pense. Je dirais qu'actually c'est plus employé par les Américains que les Anglais.
Anonyme
Posté le 23 nov. 2011
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide ! Ça m'a beaucoup aidé :D !
Anonyme
Posté le 23 nov. 2011
De rien mais tu devrais remercier Bruno car il t'a bien corrigé le devoir et je n'ai presque rien eu à faire. Il a également un très bon niveau d'anglais.

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