Oral Anglais Idea of Progress Correction

Publié le 2 mars 2019 il y a 5 mois par titi644 - Fin › 9 mars 2019 dans 5 mois
1

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour,

je viens de terminer ma synthèse pour mon oral d'anglais sur Idea of Progress et j'aimerais avoir une éventuelle correction sur les fautes, grammaire ou style.

Merci beaucoup

(je suis en terminale S donc ma synthèse ne doit durer "que" 5 min)

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

I am going to talk about the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. It can be a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. To illustrate my notion, I will talk about the scientific progress across the medicine.

 To what extent the progress in medicine have an influence on our society?

PLAN

Positive effects

As a matter of fact, scientific progress gave and continues to give a good influence on our society thanks to new discoveries, techniques and technologies.

In fact, we can see a strong evolution of the medicine through the times.  In the past, the death rate was higher than nowadays because they didn’t have the same equipments as we have today. In fact, the patient was exposed to bacteria because the operating theatre was open to everyone. It was like a show for people and a lesson for students but most of the time the patient’s injuries were infected caused to this environment.  However, nowadays the operating theatre is closed to the public so only surgeons and nurses can come. Moreover, the room is germ-free like the equipment because it has been sterilized. In addition, surgeons and nurses, before the middle of the 20th century, wore a simple surgery blouse with a casual suit under whereas they wear currently gloves, a mask, a cap and a surgical scrub.  To illustrate this evolution, we studied an article from Rob Lowman published in Los Angeles Daily News in 2014 who presents a new show named The Knick.  This show is based on real fact and tells us the story of the medicine’s world in the beginning of the 20th century.

Indeed, we can see an important evolution and I think it’s worth mentioning that for people in the 20th century there was an evolution. In fact, evolution in medicine has been existing since a long time with the iron’s discovery during the Ancient Times, the beginning of the microscope in the 17th century and with the creation of X rays in 1895.  Furthermore, the death rate reduced thanks to the creation of antibiotics in 1928 by Alexander Fleming and also with the vaccination against smallpox created by Ambroise Paré in 1979.  To addition, we saw in class an advertising of the 19th century for cocaine which also shows the great influence of the medicine’s evolution. In fact, this advertising shows two children who are playing and next to them we can see a catchphrase to sell cocaine as a painkiller because it was legal. However, it’s a deathly drug and luckily nowadays we know it and we use other painkiller as aspirin.

As a consequence, thanks to the evolution of the medicine, hygiene, equipment and techniques are better today and enable the death rate’s decline.

Limits

However, the medicine has also made progress in genetic. To make myself clear I would like to explain genetic progress as a scientific progress which allows to modify the genetic program and to create a genetically modified organism.  I think with this definition you can easily imagine that genetic progress raises ethnic issues.

Nowadays, the evolution of genetic helped a lot of disabled people by creating for them a new limb. In fact, for example someone who lost a leg is now able to walk again thanks to a bionic leg. However, genetic progress raises an ethical question because people will be tempting to replace their human limbs to looking for a physical perfection. Indeed, we discovered that bionic parts are more powerful than our limbs. For instance, we saw in a video an interview of Bertolt Meyer, a professor of University who shows his bionic hand which can adapt to any object like a phone. Moreover, his hand can rotate to 360 degrees so it’s more powerful than a normal hand. In addition, Meyer shows in this video his robot named Frank who looks like a human. This robot can help you in your everyday life but this creation is expensive, it costs more than one million dollars. However, the genetic progress can afraid people because we are asking ourselves a new question as: do robots will replace us? Furthermore, a quote of Meyer which is “It’s fascinating to think how much of you is bionic before you stopped being human” illustrates also the ethnic problem of genetic. This evolution will maybe change the goal of saving life of the medicine into making money. In addition, this “genetics’ fear” is not new. In fact, Huxley, the author of the Brave New World, shows in his dystopia published in 1932 a society based on genetic manipulation where nobody has an identity.

As a consequence, the progress in medicine has limits because it can bring ethnic problem and genetic manipulation.

Conclusion

To conclude, I think medicine has made many progress and helped our society to eradicate disease and saved life. Nevertheless, science need to have a limit especially with genetic because it raises ethnic issues for which we don’t have any solution. (pour lesquels ou dont... je ne sais pas comment le dire)

 

 

 

 




2 commentaires pour ce devoir


Liloulalou
Liloulalou
Posté le 2 mars 2019

Bonjour, je suis en terminale également. Je trouve ton texte bien et très intéressant, voici les choses que je modifierai (peut-être que je me trompe aussi).

Pour introduire ta problématique tu peux dire: (That's why) we may wonder ... (C'est pourquoi) on peut se demander ...


we can see a strong evolution -> we can see a great evolution

infected caused to this environment -> infected because of the/this environment

To addition, we saw -> Moreover, we saw (comme tu as déjà dis in addition plus haut, ça change un peu)

enable the death rate’s decline -> enable the death's rate to decline (je n'en suis pas sûre mais je l'aurai tourné comme ça)

In fact, for example someone -> For example, someone

 

 

titi644
titi644
Posté le 3 mars 2019

Merci beaucoup !


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