Rédaction en anglais

Bonjour laulau11 ,

Alors voici la correction de ton expression écrite.

The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. First of all, I would like to give a definition of the notion. So the idea of progress can be defined as an improvement which contributes to making the world a better place. The topic of my oral presentation will be the consumer society. I find this topic very interesting because it is topical, and it concerns us all. In fact, we live in a consumer society that encourages us to consume to exist. There are different modes of consumption like online or traditional shopping. So, I will try to answer the question: How to escape the dangers of the consumer society? First, I will talk about the psychological and environmental dangers. Then I will concentrate on the alternatives. 

First of all, the drifts of the consumption society cause psychological and financial consequences.

This society encourages people to always buy more, some of them become even shopaholics. A shopaholic is a person who has become addicted to shopping. She can't stop buying items because it makes her happy but soon she will become dependent.

The consequences can be devastating. A person can get in terrible debt or go bankrupt. 

Let's take as an example the trailer for a romantic comedy entitled  "Confessions of a Shopaholic ''. It’s the story of Rebecca, a shopaholic girl. This trailer draws our attention to the fact that Rebecca quickly became in debt because she was not aware of the amount of money she spent. Her madness even led her to fight for an article she desired. We also find this excessive side in an extract from the TV news that shows Black Friday shopper's rage in 2011 in Los Angeles. This extract shows the panic engendered by a woman who gazed other people to obtain a games console. To me, these reactions are excessive and inhuman. 

Moreover, our consumer society has environmental consequences.

Indeed, overconsumption product an excess of waste such as the numerous plastic bags which pollute nature. This concept is presented in an article written by a journalist Tom Bawden. In 2004, he reported the words of Charles J Moore, a captain in the US merchant marine who militates against ocean pollution.

 Charles J Moore does research about the great pacific garbage pack. In this article, the captain Moore wants to show one of the impacts of the consumer society, the pollution, which kills millions of sea creatures.

However, there are various alternatives to change our consumer society.

Firstly, one of the organized actions is Buy Nothing Day.

During this day, the consumers are incited to change their habits. They are encouraged to buy nothing. This day was created in 1992 in Canada and it takes place in November, the same day of Black Friday. The bay nothing day has for objective to reduce the impact over-consumption on our planet and to raise awareness of the environmental, psychological and political consequences of over-consumption. We studied in class, an advert who promotes this movement. In this document, the American consumers are represented by a pig who caricatures their obesity due to over-consumption.

Secondly, Another alternative is the 2nd Hand market. The goal is to buy already used items that cost less and avoid waste. This action highlights the recycling of various items like books, clothing etc…. We studied a web article about the second-hand market that informs us about this alternative and shows us that we can buy, for example, pre-owned items online or in charity shops. In my opinion, this alternative is a good idea because it permits us to save money and support charity such as cancer research. 

To conclude, the consumer society causes many dangers.

Psychologically, it causes addictions while socially it causes environmental damage. To counter these dangers, I spoke to you about alternatives like the buy nothing day and the 2nd Hand market but there are also other movements like freegans or Fairtrade. Moreover, I think it is time to make the world aware of the risks of our consumer society and to diffuse the different movements.

Dans l'esemble ton expression écrite est bonne et pertinente. Il y a quelques petites erreurs mais elles ne sont pas très grave puisqu'elles ne nuisent en aucun cas à la compréhention de ton écrit/oral.