Devoir d'anglais urgent à corriger svp car je dois le rendre lundi !!

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour à tous j'ai imaginé une scène de crime en rapportant les faits en tant que témoin. Tout en utilisant be +participe passe , le passif et le prétérit, dite-moi si c'est bien et corriger moi svp c'est le plus important

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

An unknown of about 25 years old has been found dead, in tragic circumstances, indeed she was stabbed many times.

Last night, in a neighbouring villa, a couple heard a boy screaming for help, his death-sounding screams, his cries iced their blood, and his squealing made their blood freeze

Moreover , my dog was barking... I found it very odd. When I looked out the window of my car, a woman came out of my home and it seemed to me that the face was likely familiar to me, and when I looked I realized it was my ex-wife. A another witness passed around and saw some smoke coming out of the house while the fire was spreading rapidly.

Afterwards i called immediatly the firemen... but because of the strong wind , firemen had difficulty stopping the fire.

I then went to a detective gave him his physical description for it to stop. Here is the perfect physical description of the culprit made by her man : The culprit was a woman, she was student in 2nd year of tub ferry, high school diploma. She had the smoother and silky clear mahogany hair which reflected vitality . The eyes were brown, they shone and inspired confidence but well drawn. Her lips were red and thin but drawn well. Her very slim waist was a proof of her, its flexibility and its dynamism. Her clothing reflected her elegance and her discerning taste. She had a beaming smile which inspired the politeness, sympathy and confidence. She had a crazy passion for the music. Every night before getting me to sleep, she would sing me a song in French or in English, but in a melodious voice. It was my pleasant wife; I liked her very much.

I explained to her that she must surely be jealous that I left him for someone else and she vange(le verbe vanger je ne sais pas comment cela se dit) on my wife.

Detective Sony is still convinced that he will be able to solve the case. He told me that he had found quite a few indications that would help him in his investigation. In the crowd of onlookers, he had noticed some very odd people who could well have something to do with the murder.

And he was right, thanks to the perfect description of the witness, he was able to recognize the culprit, and she was arrested and will be sentenced for murder.