Expression écrite

avatar peaceful
peaceful
Publié le 19 sept. 2010 il y a 4A Fin › 21 sept. 2010 4A
5

SUJET DU DEVOIR

Bonjour, est ce que vous pouvez me corriger mon expression ecrite car j'ai peur qu'il y ait pas mal de fautes d'orhographes, c'est pourquoi j'aimerais solliciter votre aide.
merci beaucoup:)

OÙ J'EN SUIS DANS MON DEVOIR

I was ashamed and i feel like humilious. I say a way embarrassing :" I am not a work addict, a worh aholic, i just like my job and enjoy what i do, i am passioned by it, can you understand that!?"
At this moment, i can see Paige's face a bit angry, and tense.
She replied: " There is a difference between to like her job and be completly addict to it ... You can't spend more than three minutes without thinking to it emily! The proof, when you entered, the first thing that you asked it was if there is some computers to send email to your custumers whereas you are here to relax you, it's an local to it, because massage are really beneficit...
When she finished her reproach, i can't retain my tear, because she was completly right, in spite of all( je voulais dire malgrès tout)
When she saw i was crying , i feel her confused and she immediatly approach to me. "What happen Emily, i didn't want you to cry. Awww, am sorry"
- It 's not your fault Paige, you are right , i have a big problem with my job, since i lost my husband in an accindent's car. I was with him this night, we had to go in a friend's house to a meal, and a man who have too drink , "fonça" on us and he killed my husband! I saw him lose the life ,i heard his last breathing, without do something, it was too later.... i Have only him in my life it was all to me, i go out with him in another country cause my parents didn't accept him anymore, no body in my family didn't want to acept him, because he was not too good for me according to them... Since i lost him, i refugied me in my work, to try to forget, it's my therapy for the shock terrible that i undergo: I say me that helping some victim in making case for them it's a way to render justice,( parce que'lle est avocate)to some victim who knew what i am living
I see PAige's face sad, "melancolique" : "I understand all now Emily, but henceforth, i will help you to take back taste in the life, try to forget, not forget , but have time for you, and pass less time in your work, and help you in your therapie
Thankss Paige, i promess you that i will try to follow your advice.

2 commentaires pour le devoir Expression écrite

cenedra
cenedra
4A
Bonjour,

je te propose ceci:

I was ashamed and I felt humiliated. I said a bit embarrassed :" I am not a work addict, a workaholic, I just like my job and enjoy what I do, I am impassioned by it, can you understand that!?"
At this moment, I could see Paige's face getting angry and tense.
She replied: " There is a difference between liking a job and be completly addicted to it ... You can't spend more than three minutes without thinking about it, Emily! The proof is when you entered, the first thing that you asked was if there was some computer to send an email to your costumers! But you are here to relax yourself, [it's an local to it](QUE VEUX-TU DIRE?), because massage are really beneficial...
When she finished her reproach, i couldn't retain my tears, because she was completely right.
When she saw I was crying , I sensed she was confused and she immediatly approached me. "What happen Emily, I didn't want you to cry. Awww, I am sorry."
"-It 's not your fault Paige, you are right. I have a big problem with my job since I lost my husband in a car accident. I was with him this night, we had to go to a friend's house for dinner and a drunkard rushed on us and he killed my husband! I saw him dying ,I heard his last breath. I couldn't do anything. I had only him in my life, he was everything to me. I dated him in another country because my parents didn't accept him, nobody in my family wanted to accept him, because he was not good enough for me according to them...
Since I lost him, I took refuge into work and tried to forget. It's my therapy for the terrible shock i underwent: I'm telling myself that helping some victims is a way to render justice and it helps some victim to know that I go on with my life."
I saw Paige's face sad, melancholique : "I understand everything now, Emily, but henceforth, I will help you to have back a taste for life. [try to forget, not forget](HEIN?)You need to have time for yourself and spend less time in your work. I will help you in your therapy."
"-Thanks Paige, I promise you that I will try to follow your advice."

Attention aux phrases trop longues.

peaceful
peaceful
4A
Merci beaucoup cenedra pour ton aide :D


ILS ONT BESOIN D'AIDE !