Correction d'une traduction

Sujet du devoir

Je dois faire une rédaction mais il y a des fautes. 

Pourriez vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes, la concordance des temps et utiliser des connecteurs de lieu et de temps.

Merci beaucoup, 

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Britney, The Legendary Master was born in Oklahoma. She grew up in a rich family that she lived in a big house of 10.000 square feet and when she needs something, she got it. Her father is busy with work, he always going business trip while her mother died while she was still young.
At a very young age, she wanted to learn Kung Fu but her father doesn’t want because he said that is an activity for boy not for girl. She was close to her sister, Kate that she developed a lazy and stubborn personality. A few months to her sister's wedding, Britney was muged while walking in Central Park after that event she traumatized and isolated. When she took a bath, she felt down and fell into coma.