Coorection de mon texte

Publié le 29 mai 2011 il y a 12A par Anonyme - Fin › 5 juin 2011 dans 12A
5

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour, est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait corriger mon texte svp? C'est très urgent et c'est ma dernière chance de remonter ma moyenne et de passr l'année!!!!!!
C'est pour mardi
Merci d'avance

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Because she was born on the second eclipse of the moon, Tania is a special girl and for her futur job, she three choices:
either becoming a magician or an animal keeper or working in politics. If she chooses to become a magician, she will have to do an apprenticeship for two hundred years. She thinks it is a bit too long but she hesitates because afterwards she she would be really powerful and could become the biggest magician of her planet. Otherwise, she is hesitating with being an animal keeper and in this job she would have to check that everybody becomes a good animal after his dead. She thinks it is a little bit sad as a job. The last one, the job in politics, she she doesn't want to do it, for her it is too serious and she has never liked politics. She has just to choose between the other ones and then she will be able to begin her apprenticeship. She is not going to get married because she prefers living alone. Her dream is not to have a big house or a beautiful husband like her friends, she just would like to live close to the nature with some animals and to have a quiet life. For the moment, she does not want to have any children but she is thinking about adopting one.

Her unrealistic dream is that she could create a little planet close to hers and live on it alone, just have what she needs, not destroy it like we are doing on the earth, but she knows that it is impossible, but she goes on to hope...


Qu'en pensez-voius?



2 commentaires pour ce devoir


Anonyme
Posté le 29 mai 2011
Bonsoir,

futurE(ligne2) avec un "e"
magician ON her planet

Je ne vois pas d'autres fautes. Ton texte me semble pas mal.
Anonyme
Posté le 30 mai 2011
"she three choices" -> Il manque le verbe

"after his dead" -> à passer au pluriel, et changer dead qui est un adjectif par le nom correspondant.

"she she doesn't want to" -> Un she de trop

"she goes on to hope" -> To go on + base verbale+ing Tu peux aussi remplacer To go on par To keep (she keeps)

Le texte est bien compréhensible.

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