Devoir de anglais URGENT!!!

Sujet du devoir

Bonjours,
j'ai un exposé oral à faire sur Ben ladelen anglais mais vu mon niveau en anglais ...
Je suis journaliste et je dois faire un reportage sur Ben laden. Voici les consigne :

Utiliser les mots clefs issus de la presse pour écrire un court texte qui vous servira de référence pour votre présentation orale. Enrichissez votre brouillon, en ajoutant des adjectifs, des adverbes, des références temporelles et des informations que vous connaissez. Apprenez ensuite vos phrases, entraînez vous à les prononcer avec la bonne phonologie.

L’objectif est de présenter ce fait de façon concise mais précise, en insistant sur les relations temporelles qui existent entre les différents événements. Avant de commencer, relisez bien vos cours et réviser l’utilisation des temps. (Voir fiche récapitulative sur les temps).


Donner la date et l’information principale en quelques mots
Date = ON MAY 2nd 2011 ,12.00 pm - Barrack Obama – announce – the world – Yesterday – Late evening – Ben Ladin – kill – in Pakistan – US troops – soldiers.

Présenter le personnage rapidement
Found (create) – Al Quaeda – 1988 – the terrorist organization responsible for the September 11th attacks on the United States –organize - terrorist attacks – world – since 1988 – for 33 years- kill – thousands of - Ben Ladin- hide – for 11 years / since 2001 – Pakistan –Afghanistan.

Dire ce qui s’est passé.
US troops – more than 10 years – find – Ben Ladin - The raid – take place - Bin Laden’s safe house – in Bilal Town- Pakistan – 1st May - After the raid – U.S. forces - take – body - Afghanistan- identification - bury it (enterrer) - Al-Qaeda confirm- the death – on May 6th .

Commenter les réactions.
After – official – announcement – crowds (foules) – gather (se rassembler) – USA- celebrate – the news – a lot of- people-still – in front of – White House – Time Square – Ground Zero – stay – all night – sing – shout- joy.

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Voila ou j'en suis, regardé si c'est bon et dite moi si il faut que je rajoute des connecteurs logique, si oui, laquelle ?

On May 2nd, 2011, at 12.00 pm, Barack Obama, the US President, announced to the world that yesterday, late in the evening, Ben Laden was killed in Pakistan by soldiers of the US troops.

Ben Laden was the leader of Al Qaeda. He came from a very wealthy family . He had 53 brothers and sisters.
Ben Laden was behind many terrorists attacks in the world. Indeed Al Qaeda was founded in 1988. The terrorist organization responsible for the September 11th attacks on the United States has organized terrorist attacks in the world since 1988 and has killed thousands of people for 33 years. Ben Laden had been hiding in Pakistan and Afghanistan since 2001

It took more than ten years to Us troops to find Ben Laden. The raid took place in Bin Laden's safe in Bilal Town in Pakistan on May 1st. After the raid, the US forces took his body to Afghanistan for identification and buried it.

After the official announcement from the white house, crowds gathered in front of the Ground Zero in Time square in the USA to celebrate the news. A lot of people stayed all night, sang, shouted for joy