Exposé URGENT anglais !

Publié le 13 nov. 2010 il y a 13A par Anonyme - Fin › 20 nov. 2010 dans 13A
19.00 / 20
5

Sujet du devoir

The Empire state Building is a big skyscraper situated in New York.
It is three hundred and eighty one meters tall and has one hundred and two floors. He was the tallest building in the world during fourty for years. And it was the tallest building of New York City since the terrorist attack of two thousands and one.
The architect who designed this building is William F Lamb from the firm Shreve, Lamb and Harmon Associates.
The Empire State Building was built when many people were trying to make the most tallest building of the world, and it was the tallest.
It was built in four hundred and ten days. The first president who lighted it was Herbert Hoover on May one, nineteen thirty one.
His construction began on March seventeen, nineteen thirty.
It is located at the fifth and 34th avenus of New York.
They are six thousand and five hundred windows. This building is not somewhere to live because it's dedicated to business and it contains many offices but it's also used as a tourist attraction. It's one of the most visited thing in New York.
His name comes from the nickname of New York City, " The Empire State". We can see it in a lot of films and series, such as King Kong or Gossip Girl.
The Empire state building shines the whole place of New York City because of his different lights who are situated at his top. The colours of the lights change according to the events.

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Bonjour pourriez vous me dire si il a des fautes d'orthographes, s manquants ou dans ce genre, enfin me corriger, s'il vous plais ? Merci d'avance !



6 commentaires pour ce devoir


Anonyme
Posté le 13 nov. 2010
Bonjour Labrindille,

Voici ton texte corrigé:

"The Empire State Building is a big skyscraper situated in New York. It is three hundred and eighty one meters tall and has one hundred and two floors. It was the tallest building in the world for forty-four years, and it was the tallest building of New York City since the terrorist attack in two thousand and one.
The architect who designed this building is William F Lamb from the firm Shreve, Lamb and Harmon Associates.
The Empire State Building was built when many people were trying to make the most tallest building of the world, and it was the tallest. It was built in four hundred and ten days. The first president who lighted it was Herbert Hoover on May first, nineteen thirty-one. His construction began on March seventeenth, nineteen thirty. It is located at the fifth and 34th avenue of New York.
They are six thousand and five hundred windows. This building is not somewhere to live because it's dedicated to business and it contains many offices but it's also used as a tourist attraction. It's one of the most visited monuments in New York.
Its name comes from the nickname of New York City, "The Empire State". We can see it in a lot of films and series, such as King Kong or Gossip Girl. The Empire State Building shines the whole place of New York City because of his different lights which are situated at the top. The colours of the lights change according to the events."

Cordialement,

Benjamin CNED 3ème
Anonyme
Posté le 13 nov. 2010
MERCI ENORMEMENT !
Anonyme
Posté le 13 nov. 2010
Hello,

c'est pas mal du tout. Néanmoins...

• "He was the tallest building in the world during fourty for years"

==> "He was". Non, "It was". He = personne , It = objet/animal.

• "Fourty for years" => "Forty-four years".

• Lorsque l'on parle d'un building, j'aurai tendance à dire "high", plutôt que "tall". C'est vraiment aux choix, tall n'est pas une erreur!

• "And it was the tallest building of New York City since the terrorist attack of two thousands and one."

==> Là, on dira plutôt "It has become the tallest building of New York City since the terrorist attack..." Il est devenu...

==> "of two thousands and one" : in two thousand one. ou bien "on nine eleven two thousand one".

• "the most tallest". Ca ne se dit pas. Tu utiliseras "the most" lorsque l'adjective qui suit ne peut se mettre sous la forme "-est". "the most charming, beautiful, impressive,...". Tallest se dit, donc ==> "the tallest", tout simplement.

• on May one, nineteen thirty one.

==> "on May one". On dit plutôt "on May first".

• "His construction began on March seventeen, nineteen thirty."

==> Tu parles bien de la construction du building? Donc ce n'est pas "His" mais bien "Its". His : personne. Its : objet/animal.

• "It is located at the fifth and 34th avenus of New York."

==> Ca me semble étrange "at the fifth and 34th". D'habitude, on précise avec "at the corner of".

==> "avenus" : avenues.

• "They are six thousand and five hundred windows."

==> They are : "there are". They are = ils sont. There are = il y a.

• "This building is not somewhere to live because it's dedicated to business and it contains many offices but it's also used as a tourist attraction. It's one of the most visited thing in New York."

==> La tournure n'est pas parfaite. Si tu pouvais souligner le fait que c'est un lieu de travail uniquement, il n'y aurait pas besoin de dire qu'on ne peut y vivre.

==> "thing". Bof bof. Je dirais "places", c'est plus propre.

• "His name come from the nickname of New York city..."

==> De nouveau, la même erreur. His / Its. Attention à ça.

• "The Empire state building shines the whole place of New York City because of his different lights who are situated at his top. The colours of the lights change according to the events."

==> La première phrase n'est pas correcte. "Shines the whole place..." n'est pas très compréhensible. Pour faire mieux "...building enlightens New York with its lights, situated at its top".

En gros, un bon travail, qui nécessite néanmoins plus d'attention sur de petites fautes inutiles. Attention particulière sur les pronoms. His / Its, etc. Pour le reste, ce ne sont que des erreurs de vocabulaire/grammaire/etc.

Très bien! Bonne relecture ;)

Anonyme
Posté le 13 nov. 2010
Haha merci beaucoup à vous ! Je corrige tout ça tout de suite ! et j'ai bien retenu pour its et his ;)
Anonyme
Posté le 13 nov. 2010
Stroke a bien fait le tour, bravo! Mais ne pas oublier que lorsqu'on utilise since on utilise toujours le present perfect...

And it was the tallest building of New York City since the terrorist attack of: And it has been the tallest...
Anonyme
Posté le 13 nov. 2010
Merci :)

Ils ont besoin d'aide !

Il faut être inscrit pour aider

Crée un compte gratuit pour aider

Je m'inscrisOU

J'ai déjà un compte

Je me connecte