Vérification de mon texte

Publié le 9 janv. 2015 il y a 9A par marylou#2491 - Fin › 17 janv. 2015 dans 9A
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1

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour,

Je dois effectuer un devoir oral.

Je vous fais un petit résumé :

Monsieur Atkins avait rendez-vous avec ses élèves.

mais au dernier moment il  téléphone à Ethan(un de ses élèves) afin de lui dire qu'il ne pourra pas être présent pour aller à l'aéroport accuellir les étudiants français, car il a mal à la tête, il a de la fièvre et doit rester au lit. Il s'excuse pour son absence.

Il lui précise qu'ils n'iront pas seuls à l'aéroport mais que c'est Monsieur Burden qui le remplacera.

Il est probable que ce dernier ait un peu de retard car il doit récupérer leurs billets de train et les documents officiels.

En gros, il demande à Ethan d'expliquer la situation.

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Pourriez-vous me dire, s'il vous plaît, si mon texte est compréhensible, si vous ne voyez pas de fautes. Je vous remercie tous d'avance.

Je vous souhaite une bonne journée.

Voici ce que j'ai écrit, (je suis Ethan, je m'adresse à mes camarades de classe)

Hello every body!

It's Perfect you're all at time !

I'm receiving you because Mr Atkins called me on my phone to tell me that he won't be present with us. He has a fever and headaches and he has to stay in his bed, he probably has a flu .
He apologize sincerely for his absence .


I reassure you, we're not alone.


So Mr Burden will replace him and we'll go together to the airport to welcome our french students .


Mr Burden can be late because he has to recover our bills of train and the official documents. I hope we won't miss the train.

So we wait him here quietly and patiently.




21 commentaires pour ce devoir


Anonyme
Posté le 9 janv. 2015

Hello every body!
This is perfect you're all at time !
I you receive because Mr Atkins called me on my phone to tell me that he won't be present with us. He has a fever and headaches and he has to stay in his bed, he probably has a flu .
He apologize sincerely for his absence .
I assure you, we're not alone .So Mr Burden will replace him and we'll go together to the airport to welcome our french students .Mr Burden is can be late because he has to recover our bills of train and the official documents. I hope we won't miss the train.
Nous we waited him here quietly and patiently.

 

tien j ai corrige il est mieux avec moins de faute il y en avec 3/4 donc sa va pour cette fois et bonne chance aler kiss <3 !!

Anonyme
Posté le 9 janv. 2015

Salut, 

Je crois pas que ton texte est mieux que le sien car il y a des fautes que tu as commises qui n'étaient pas dans le texte original. :)

marylou#2491
marylou#2491
Posté le 9 janv. 2015

Bonsoir,

En utilisant le traducteur ?

Juste au passage, je corrige à mon tour les tiennes :^^

"Tiens, j'ai corrigé, il est mieux avec moins de fautes, il y en avait 3/4 donc ça va pour cette fois et bonne chance, aller............"

Bonne soirée et merci quand même.

 

Anonyme
Posté le 9 janv. 2015

Salut,

Tout d'abord "everybody" s'écrit en un mot . Aussi on dit "on time" et non "at time".  Qu'est ce tu voulait dire par "I'm receiving you"?? Parce que dans ce contexte ça n'a pas trop de sens. Le reste c'est des erreurs de grammaire; ces liens devraient surement t'aider.

http://www.anglaisfacile.com/exercices/exercice-anglais-2/exercice-anglais-45638.php

http://staff.washington.edu/marynell/grammar/AdverbPl.html

 http://www.learn-english-today.com/lessons/lesson_contents/verbs/modals.html

 

marylou#2491
marylou#2491
Posté le 9 janv. 2015

Bonsoir Loulou,

Je vous remercie pour les liens.

Concernant "i'm receiving you" je voulais dire "c'est moi qui vous reçoit", mais en réfléchissant, je ne vais pas ajouter cela. Est-ce que vous pouvez me dire si  c'est mieux ainsi s'il vous plaît ? Je vous remercie et vous souhaite un bon week-end.

Hello, everybody!
It's good that you're all on time!
I'm sending this out to tell you that Mr. Atkins called and said that he won't be here today. He has a fever and headaches, and is staying home, since he probably has the flu, but apologizes sincerely for his absence.
It's alright, though, because Mr. Burden will replace him, and we'll all go to the airport to welcome our French students.
He coult be late, because he has to get our train tickets and official documents.
So, we'll wait here quietly and patiently

Anonyme
Posté le 9 janv. 2015

"everybody" "on time" "He has a fever and headaches and has to stay in his bed. Our teacher probably has a flu .'

marylou#2491
marylou#2491
Posté le 10 janv. 2015

Bonjour Oui-Oui^^

Merci beaucoup.

Anonyme
Posté le 10 janv. 2015

oui,ce texte est sans fautes (je suis prof d'anglais)

Anonyme
Posté le 10 janv. 2015

cool

Anonyme
Posté le 10 janv. 2015

cassandrecomes@gmail.com

Anonyme
Posté le 10 janv. 2015

Hello every body!
This is perfect you're all at time !
I you receive because Mr Atkins called me on my phone to tell me that he won't be present with us. He has a fever and headaches and he has to stay in his bed, he probably has a flu .
He apologize sincerely for his absence .
I assure you, we're not alone .So Mr Burden will replace him and we'll go together to the airport to welcome our french students .Mr Burden is can be late because he has to recover our bills of train and the official documents. I hope we won't miss the train.
Nous we waited him here quietly and patiently.

marylou#2491
marylou#2491
Posté le 10 janv. 2015

Bonsoir monsieur ou madame le professeur d'anglais?

Pourriez-vous m'expliquez cette dernière phrase s'il vous plaît ?

Nous we waited him here quietly and patiently.

Ce texte n'est donc pas correct ?

Hello, everybody!
It's good that you're all on time!
I'm sending this out to tell you that Mr. Atkins called and said that he won't be here today. He has a fever and headaches, and is staying home, since he probably has the flu, but apologizes sincerely for his absence.
It's alright, though, because Mr. Burden will replace him, and we'll all go to the airport to welcome our French students.
He coult be late, because he has to get our train tickets and official documents.
So, we'll wait here quietly and patiently.

Pourriez-vous s'il vous plaît me corriger mes erreurs ?

Bonne soirée.

Anonyme
Posté le 11 janv. 2015

très bien

Anonyme
Posté le 11 janv. 2015

Hello, everybody!
It's good that you're all on time!
I'm sending this out to tell you that Mr. Atkins called and said that he won't be here today. He has a fever and headaches, and is staying home, since he probably has the flu, but apologizes sincerely for his absence.
It's alright, though, because Mr. Burden will replace him, and we'll all go to the airport to welcome our French students.
He coult be late, because he has to get our train tickets and official documents.
So, we'll wait here quietly and patiently

 

 

 

Anonyme
Posté le 11 janv. 2015

deja il est préférable de dire he is sick and he has to stay in bed all day. sinon tu accordes mal

ensuite si j'étais toi je mettrai les verbes du derniers paragraphes au futur

 

Anonyme
Posté le 11 janv. 2015

 ton texte est bien

Anonyme
Posté le 12 janv. 2015

oui c'est compréhensible, et voila la correction je pense qu'elle est correcte:

Hello everybody!

It's perfect you're all on time!

I'm receiving you because Mr. Atkins called me on my phone to tell me that he won't be present with us. He has a fever and headaches and he has to stay in his bed, he probably has flu.
He apologizes sincerely for his absence.


I reassure you, we're not alone.


So Mr. Burden will replace him and we'll go together to the airport to welcome our French students.


Mr. Burden can be late because he has to recover our bills of train and the official documents. I hope we won't miss the train.

So we wait him here quietly and patiently.

Anonyme
Posté le 12 janv. 2015

oui ce texte est sans erreur :)

1
Anonyme
Posté le 13 janv. 2015

Hello every body!
This is perfect you're all at time !
I you receive because Mr Atkins called me on my phone to tell me that he won't be present with us. He has a fever and headaches and he has to stay in his bed, he probably has a flu .
He apologize sincerely for his absence .
I assure you, we're not alone .So Mr Burden will replace him and we'll go together to the airport to welcome our french students .Mr Burden is can be late because he has to recover our bills of train and the official documents. I hope we won't miss the train.

n'utilise jamais google traduction

 

 

 

Anonyme
Posté le 15 janv. 2015

Hello every body!
This is perfect you're all at time !
I you receive because Mr Atkins called me on my phone to tell me that he won't be present with us. He has a fever and headaches and he has to stay in his bed, he probably has a flu .
He apologize sincerely for his absence .
I assure you, we're not alone .So Mr Burden will replace him and we'll go together to the airport to welcome our french students .Mr Burden is can be late because he has to recover our bills of train and the official documents. I hope we won't miss the train.
Nous we waited him here quietly and patiently.

 

Texte corrigé :) Normalement, il n'y a plus de faute ! J'ai trouvé seulement 5-6 Fautes :)

Bonne Chance et A plus :)

marylou#2491
marylou#2491
Posté le 16 janv. 2015

Merci à tous, j'avoue que c'est un peu difficile, parce que je n'ai jamais les mêmes corrections, je ne sais à quel saint me vouer.

Bonne soirée à tous et bon week-end.


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