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Sujet du devoir
Hello,
Je dois faire une rédaction de 250 mots en anglais dont voici le sujet :
« I have a dream » Comment (250 words)
J'ai tout rédigé, je voudrais savoir si mon texte est bien structuré, s'il y a des fautes de grammaire, vous avez de meilleurs idées ...
Merci
Où j'en suis dans mon devoir
Mon texte est disponible à l'adresse suivante : https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bx2AEal0fcSyc0Z4TzZON3F6ZFk/view?usp=sharing
Thanks
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Voici une correction :
When I hear the sentence « I have a dream », , it makes me immediately think of the famous speech of Martin Luther King. He delivered it on August 28th, 1963, in front of the Lincoln
Memorial, in Washington, D.C. It was during the march on Washington for work and Freedom. He called in his speech for an end to racism in the United States.(???) It was a( ne change pas le temps des verbes , à part si tu veux vraiment dire ça au présent) very nice educational speech
which restored faith in the future. Besides, he introduced several quotes, carefully chosen to
strengthen his words. Martin Luther King was for non-violent demonstrations. He wanted to do a
temple of peace in America.
A young Dutch musical artist, Bakermat, made a music called "one day" with ( pas de the) Martin
Luther King's speech in 2013 that I found very successful. We can also see (on met also avant le verbe) a part of his speech in
the movie "Selma" directed by Ava DuVernay which reconstitute the story of the march from
Montgomery to Selma. This film is a beautiful tribute for Martin Luther King.
I also have a dream. First, as Matin Luther Kink, I wish the world gets more peace, and no
more war. That ,all the peoples of the Earth can get on and be free. Moreover, I want to protect the
planet. We need to stop using the fossil energies which are too polluting and to replace them by the
renewable energies which are much better! All this seems complicated but I'm sure we can do it if
everybody is aware about it. To top it all( ????), we would be all happier !
Ce qui est en italique , je n'ai pas compris ce que tu as voulus dire.
Merci beaucoup !!
He called in his speech for an end to racism in the United States --> il appelé dans son dicours la fin du racisme
To top it all --> c'est un lien logique pour dire : pour couronner le tout
Ah , je comprend mieux , dit en français .
*Il appelé dans son dicours la fin du racisme ->> He called in his speech , for the end of racism in the United States.
* To the it all : ce n'est pas la bonne expression à utiliser ici
->> on aurait dit " on the top of that".
Je m’excuse toutefois si l'expression que tu as choisis est juste. c'est juste que je n'entend jamais l'expression que tu as utilisé.
Ok merci :)