Expression écrite en Anglais (juste besoin d'une correction !)

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour,

Je dois réaliser un gros devoir d'Anglais. J'ai répondu à toutes les questions et j'ai juste besoin d'aide pour deux questions d'expression écrite.

d) The qualities of an immigrant:

10. What are the qualities of an immigrant ? Explain the journalist's opinion, give your own with a few examples. Write up to 80 words.

(La question est par rapport à un texte mais je sais que ma réponse est bonne. J'ai juste besoin d'une éventuelle correction au niveau de la conjugaison et de la grammaire.)

3. Jane, a young woman from England, has found a job in New-York. A few days after her arrival she writes to her parents back home. Write her letter.

(Pareil que pour la question ci-dessus. J'ai surtout besoin d'aide pour améliorer ma façon d'écrire en Anglais !)

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Voici ma première réponse :

The journalist thinks that the immigrants helped to build New York. For him it is a mixture of genres which give all her beauty to the city. For my part, I find that all these people make of New York a big pole where mixes the differences. We speak even about melting pot to describe the mixture of the populations in Lower East Side's district. I also think that the immigrants have a big will to make a success.

Et la deuxième :

Dear parents,

The address in the back of the envelope must have surprised you. I write you of New York. I found a job in an agency of translation. I am a translator! My studies in foreign languages eventually paid. I feel so lucky. That was not easy especially at the beginning. I have of to juggle between several small jobs. Finally, work in bars allowed me to meet good people. In particular a good friend, John. He made me discover the city and it is him who helped me to have this great work. He is a real life of the party! Now I live in corent with him. But make no mistake, he is not interested in the girls.

Today, I feel blossomed. I am happy. I like New York. All these different people who mix in streets give to the city a wonderful charm. I have the impression to live on another planet, in another world. But it is just another country. Every day, I discover new things. Tall buildings make me dream, especially at night, illuminated by the lights.

England will always stay my heart. I miss you, I look forward to seeing again you. Every evening, I ask in the wind to give you my words of love. To you, my well liked parents who gave me the strength to be the person whom I am today. Transmit my hello to Chelsea! I hope that its examinations passed well? Tell her that my small sister misses me!

With all my affection,
Jane

Voilà. J'espère que ce n'est pas trop mauvais. J'ai fait mon possible, j'ai juste besoin d'un œil averti pour me corriger et m'expliquer mes erreurs afin que je puisse progresser. Merci d'avance à ceux qui prendront le temps de m'aider !