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Sujet du devoir
Bonjour, je suis élève en 1ère S-SVT et, dans le cadre d'un prochain bac blanc, je dois écrire ma notion sur le thème Espaces et Échanges. J'ai finit d'écrire ma notion et j'aimerais avoir vos avis dessus.
Où j'en suis dans mon devoir
Ma Notion:
The notion I am going to present is Spaces and exchanges. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. In today's modern world, these interactions can take various forms: economic, cultural, information...
I would like to illustrate this notion by focusing on the topic of crossing borders. Concerning this subject, the main question can be the following: To what extent is traveling abroad a rewarding experience?
To answer this question I will speak about three documents that we studied in class. To begin with, i will concentrate on a text called « Go Gap », then I will analyze the audio recording « another angle » before focusing on an article named « graduates to get gap-year money ».
So, the first text I chose is from a Barclays Bank brochure. It tells the story of a young girl, Alice Clarfelt, who decided to spend time abroad before starting to work, and gives the different benefits of the gap-year. According to Alice, the gap-year is the way to improve our skills by achieving something that will have a concrete impact and make us proud. In addition Anne-Marie Martin, director of the Careers Group in the University of London puts forward the idea that a year abroad is highly valued by employers as it shows the maturity, independence and open-mindedness of the student. In short, the message conveyed in this text tends to prove that spending a year abroad is a scheme with many benefits which allows students to gain experience and be prepared for future activities or a potential job.
To continue, I will focus on an audio recording in which Jason, a thirty four year-old man tell us about his experience in India as a volunteer. He praises humanitarian trip and tries to convince young people to join a program, because for him, it’s THE right things to do. Right from the start, he clearly states that this experience can have a very positive impact on our life as it enable us to cross cultures, discover new communities, become more self-reliant and ultimately, to question our vision of life. This document illustrates an aspect of the notion in that it shows that thanks to a trip abroad, we can open us to the world by interacting with people from another culture.
Finally, let’s analyze the British government’s project explained in the article named « graduates to get gap-year money ». Indeed, the government want to give jobless graduates the opportunity to take a gap-year, whatever their social background, to help them develop communication and increase their skills. The article supports the idea that volunteering is beneficial for these young people, getting them outside of their comfort zone. What is shown in this document is a relevant illustration of the benefits of travelling in so far as, even the British government is pushing young people to discover new cultures before integrating the world of work.
To conclude, I would tend to think that through a trip abroad, we open our mind to the world, we learn how to stand on our own two feet which is highly valued in the workplace. I would like to end my presentation by quoting a famous writer, Michel Montaigne, who said that “travels broaden the minds”.
4 commentaires pour ce devoir
bonjour,
Voilà deux petites fautes que j'ai repéré, sinon le reste me semble correcte :
The notion I am going to present is about Spaces and exchanges. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. In today's modern world, these interactions can take various forms: economic, cultural, information...
I would like to illustrate this notion by focusing on the topic of crossing borders. Concerning this subject, the main question can be the following: To what extent is traveling abroad a rewarding experience?
To answer this question I will speak about three documents that we studied in class. To begin with, i will concentrate on a text called « Go Gap », then I will analyze the audio recording « another angle » before focusing on an article named « graduates to get gap-year money ».
So, the first text I chose is from a Barclays Bank brochure. It tells the story of a young girl, Alice Clarfelt, who decided to spend time abroad before starting to work, and gives the different benefits of the gap-year. According to Alice, the gap-year is the way to improve our skills by achieving something that will have a concrete impact and make us proud. In addition Anne-Marie Martin, director of the Careers Group in the University of London puts forward the idea that a year abroad is highly valued by employers as it shows the maturity, independence and open-mindedness of the student. In short, the message conveyed in this text tends to prove that spending a year abroad is a scheme with many benefits which allows students to gain experience and be prepared for future activities or a potential job.
To continue, I will focus on an audio recording in which Jason, a thirty four year-old man tells us about his experience in India as a volunteer. He praises humanitarian trip and tries to convince young people to join a program, because for him, it’s THE right things to do. Right from the start, he clearly states that this experience can have a very positive impact on our life as it enable us to cross cultures, discover new communities, become more self-reliant and ultimately, to question our vision of life. This document illustrates an aspect of the notion in that it shows that thanks to a trip abroad, we can open us to the world by interacting with people from another culture.
Finally, let’s analyze the British government’s project explained in the article named « graduates to get gap-year money ». Indeed, the government want to give jobless graduates the opportunity to take a gap-year, whatever their social background, to help them develop communication and increase their skills. The article supports the idea that volunteering is beneficial for these young people, getting them outside of their comfort zone. What is shown in this document is a relevant illustration of the benefits of travelling in so far as, even the British government is pushing young people to discover new cultures before integrating the world of work.
To conclude, I would tend to think that through a trip abroad, we open our mind to the world, we learn how to stand on our own two feet which is highly valued in the workplace. I would like to end my presentation by quoting a famous writer, Michel Montaigne, who said that “travels broaden the minds”.
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Pour comprendre tes fautes :
The notion I am going to present is Spaces and exchanges.
Si je traduit ta phrase : La notion que je vais présenter est les espaces et les échanges.
C'est mal dit...
Il faudrait plutôt dire : La notion que je vais présenter est sur les espaces et les échanges.
Donc --> The notion I am going to present is about Spaces and exchanges.
To continue, I will focus on an audio recording in which Jason, a thirty four year-old man tell us about his experience in India as a volunteer.
traduction : Pour continuer, je vais me concentrer sur un enregistrement audio dans lequel Jason, un homme de 34 ans nous raconter son expérience en Inde en tant que bénévole.
Il vaudrait mieux dire : "nous raconte"
donc : To continue, I will focus on an audio recording in which Jason, a thirty four year-old man tells us about his experience in India as a volunteer.
en esperant t'avoir aidé, bonne chance!
Quelques petites fautes que j'ai vues au passage mais en effet ton texte est bien écrit
In today's modern world : In today modern world Pas de cas possessif, il faudrait qu'il y ait une personne or il n'y en a pas
on our life as it enables us
the government wants
Merci beaucoup, les fautes sont corrigés ;)
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je trouve ton devoir bien écrit et complet!