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Sujet du devoir
Voilà, j'ai écrit un court texte en anglais, et j'aimerais de l'aider pour qu'il y ait le moins de fautes possibles.. donc je demande de l'aide aux pros des langues.J'aurai besoin de :
- modifications des phrases si cela n'a pas de sens.
- moins de fautes grammaticales possibles
- que les verbes soient bien conjugués
- et j'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à introduire davantage de mots de liaison (links words)
Où j'en suis dans mon devoir
Voici donc mon texte :They met at a party. They got to know during this evening. They is are put together. They were both in high school, but both had already made their emancipation. They lived on their respective sides in a small studio. And when they are put together, they took an apartment for to live both. One day, after 6 months of living together, the girl, whose name is Lila, returned earlier because a teacher who is absent, and surprised his love named Ed with an another girl. Lila was very disappointed and sad. As for Ed, he was being devoured by guilt and remorse. Despite his act, he loved it. Lila stopped responding to messages, and ignored his calls. One day he decided to go at Lila's home, to talk, to explain, and particularly to apologize! He explained that he was not perfect, he really regretted what he had done. Before leaving, he really wanted her to know he has found a reason to change, to start anew, and that reason it's her because he loves her. They did not put back together because Lila has not forgiven Ed, even if she still loved her because she don't love infidelity. She explain she was refuse to live with a man who was able to see another girl.
Merci d'avance, bises.
Alexia.
6 commentaires pour ce devoir
Je préviens, je veux pas de traduction provenant de traducteurs sur le net..
Donc mon texte, c'est censé vouloir dire :
Ils se sont rencontrés à une fête. Ils ont appris à se connaître lors de cette soirée. Ils se sont mis ensemble. Ils étaient tous les deux au lycée, et tous deux avaient déjà demander leur émancipation. Ils vivaient chacun de leurs côtés respectifs dans un petit studio. Et quand ils se sont mis ensemble, ils ont pris un appartement pour vivre à deux. Un jour, après six mois de vie commune, la jeune fille, qui s'appelle Lila, est revenue plus tôt des cours en raison d'un professeur absent et a surpris son amour/son chéri du nom de Ed avec une autre fille. Lila était très déçue et très chagrinée (triste). Quant à Ed, il était rongé par la culpabilité et les remords. En dépit de son acte, il l'aimait. Lila a cessé de répondre à ces messages, et ignoré ces appels. Un jour, il décida d'aller chez Lila, pour parler, et s'expliquer, et en particulier pour présenter des excuses! Il a expliqué qu'il n'était pas parfait, il a vraiment regretté ce qu'il avait fait. Avant de partir, il voulait vraiment qu'elle sache qu'il a trouvé une raison de changer, de recommencer à zéro, et que la raison c'est elle, parce qu'il l'aime. Ils ne sont pas remis ensemble parce que Lila n'a pas pardonné à Ed, même si elle l'aimait toujours, parce qu'elle n'aime pas l'infidélité. Elle explique qu'elle refuse de vivre avec un homme qui a été en mesure (/ou/capable d'aller voir) de voir une autre fille.
Merci
Donc mon texte, c'est censé vouloir dire :
Ils se sont rencontrés à une fête. Ils ont appris à se connaître lors de cette soirée. Ils se sont mis ensemble. Ils étaient tous les deux au lycée, et tous deux avaient déjà demander leur émancipation. Ils vivaient chacun de leurs côtés respectifs dans un petit studio. Et quand ils se sont mis ensemble, ils ont pris un appartement pour vivre à deux. Un jour, après six mois de vie commune, la jeune fille, qui s'appelle Lila, est revenue plus tôt des cours en raison d'un professeur absent et a surpris son amour/son chéri du nom de Ed avec une autre fille. Lila était très déçue et très chagrinée (triste). Quant à Ed, il était rongé par la culpabilité et les remords. En dépit de son acte, il l'aimait. Lila a cessé de répondre à ces messages, et ignoré ces appels. Un jour, il décida d'aller chez Lila, pour parler, et s'expliquer, et en particulier pour présenter des excuses! Il a expliqué qu'il n'était pas parfait, il a vraiment regretté ce qu'il avait fait. Avant de partir, il voulait vraiment qu'elle sache qu'il a trouvé une raison de changer, de recommencer à zéro, et que la raison c'est elle, parce qu'il l'aime. Ils ne sont pas remis ensemble parce que Lila n'a pas pardonné à Ed, même si elle l'aimait toujours, parce qu'elle n'aime pas l'infidélité. Elle explique qu'elle refuse de vivre avec un homme qui a été en mesure (/ou/capable d'aller voir) de voir une autre fille.
Merci
Salut
They met each other at a party.They have learnt to know during this party.They put together.They was both in hight school and have already ask their emancipation.They both live in their own studio ,when they put together they tooke an appartment
One day after six month of cohabitation ,the young girl which name is Lila came back earlier because a professor was absent,saw her lover name's Ed with an other girl.Lila was very disapointedand sad.
Ed was very guilty.Even his act he loved her.Lila stoped to answer his messages and ignored his calls.
One day he decided to go to lila's house to speak and explain and particulary to apologize ! He said that he wasn't perfect and he was sorry dor what he did.
Before leaving,he wants to telle her that he found a good reason to change and to try again ,the reason was her because he loves her.They didn't back togetherbecause lila didn't forgive him for his infidelity.She sais that she refused to be whith a man who could gone with an other girl.
They met each other at a party.They have learnt to know during this party.They put together.They was both in hight school and have already ask their emancipation.They both live in their own studio ,when they put together they tooke an appartment
One day after six month of cohabitation ,the young girl which name is Lila came back earlier because a professor was absent,saw her lover name's Ed with an other girl.Lila was very disapointedand sad.
Ed was very guilty.Even his act he loved her.Lila stoped to answer his messages and ignored his calls.
One day he decided to go to lila's house to speak and explain and particulary to apologize ! He said that he wasn't perfect and he was sorry dor what he did.
Before leaving,he wants to telle her that he found a good reason to change and to try again ,the reason was her because he loves her.They didn't back togetherbecause lila didn't forgive him for his infidelity.She sais that she refused to be whith a man who could gone with an other girl.
Bonjour,
la correction de Yasmi n'est pas complète. Je reprend à partir de son texte.
Lila and Ed met at a party. They got to know each other during this party. Eventually they got together. They were still in high school but they already have asked for their emancipation. They were both living in their own flat so when they got together they took an appartment.
After six month of cohabitation, one day, Lila came back earlier because a teacher was absent. Unfortunately she saw her lover with an other girl. Lila was very disapointed and so sad.
Ed felt very guilty. Despite his act he loved her. Lila stopped to answer his messages and ignored his phone calls.
One day he decided to go to Lila's house to talk to her and to explain and most importantly to apologize! He told her that he wasn't perfect and that he was sorry for what he did.
Before ending the conversation, he wanted to tell her that he found a good reason to change and to try again. That reason was her because he loved her. They didn't get back together even if Lila still loved him. But Lila didn't forgive him for his infidelity. She said that she refused to be with a man who could have an intercourse with an other girl.
j'ai particulièrement attention aux conjugaisons, j'ai allégé la syntaxe pour faire un peu plus "anglais".
Il faut nommer les personnages au début, c'est plus clair et ça évite la lourdeur (wich name is, called,..).
j'ai rajouté quelques link word et coupé 1 ou 2 phrases pour les caser.
la correction de Yasmi n'est pas complète. Je reprend à partir de son texte.
Lila and Ed met at a party. They got to know each other during this party. Eventually they got together. They were still in high school but they already have asked for their emancipation. They were both living in their own flat so when they got together they took an appartment.
After six month of cohabitation, one day, Lila came back earlier because a teacher was absent. Unfortunately she saw her lover with an other girl. Lila was very disapointed and so sad.
Ed felt very guilty. Despite his act he loved her. Lila stopped to answer his messages and ignored his phone calls.
One day he decided to go to Lila's house to talk to her and to explain and most importantly to apologize! He told her that he wasn't perfect and that he was sorry for what he did.
Before ending the conversation, he wanted to tell her that he found a good reason to change and to try again. That reason was her because he loved her. They didn't get back together even if Lila still loved him. But Lila didn't forgive him for his infidelity. She said that she refused to be with a man who could have an intercourse with an other girl.
j'ai particulièrement attention aux conjugaisons, j'ai allégé la syntaxe pour faire un peu plus "anglais".
Il faut nommer les personnages au début, c'est plus clair et ça évite la lourdeur (wich name is, called,..).
j'ai rajouté quelques link word et coupé 1 ou 2 phrases pour les caser.
Merci!
Merci!
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Tu pourrais donner le texte directement en francais stp ?