Correction d'un texte

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour a tous, j'ai une tâche finale écrite ( je dois rédiger une lettre à un éditeur d'un article pour parler des écrans, des points positifs et négatifs et de mon avis ) à faire et j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un pouvait me dire si il y a des fautes ou des incohérences et si oui lesquelles. Merci

Le texte :

FINAL TASK

Mr. DION Antoine,

46 Dorset Street, London

                                                                                  Thursday 4th February 2018

Mr. ADAMS Dale,

54 Ledbury Road, London

     Dear Mr. Adams,

I recently read your article about screens addiction and social life so I would like tell you what I think about that and the positive and negative aspects in my opinion.

First, screens and Internet is a wonderful tool for do a lot of things like learn a language, inquire about a subject, communicate with others anywhere, entertain, know all the news,…

There is a incredible benefit of screens in communication. In fact, these technologies have an interest in professional sector: employers can find interest for the job with screens, communicate with them by e-mail or by video calling for a job interview and it’s also useful for a lot of professions like graphic designers, journalists,.. These technologies also have an interest in personal sector: with screens and Internet, you can communicate with your family or your friends even by being away from and instantly ( much faster than written letters ), you can make a lot of virtual friends,…

But a too frequent use of screens can have a negative and irreversible impact : Users can become addicts, friendless, unsociable, and stay indoors so only eat junk food and become fat. Because of screens, people see themselves less and less and these technologies require some people to wear glasses or have an effect on theirs brains.

I think that screens are very useful for us because it’s very easy to use and people can do a lot of different things ( communicate, learn,… )but we must be careful with that.