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Bonjour, je dois écrire un thrillers d'environ 300 mots mais je pense avoir fait quelques fautes. Voici mon texte :Policemen were alerted by the leader of the hotel Place circus. Indeed she had found a weapon in one of her rooms. More exactly in the room number thirteen...
The two policemen arrived to the hotel. Mrs Allen greeted them. They asked the woman if she had heard noises. She explained that she was not there yesterday evening but that her assistant was present. She called him :
Hi Emma !
Hello Mrs Allen, there is a problem ?
Everything is well but I have a question to put you. Have you listen noise yesterday evening ?
Yes ! A noise of weapon !
Thank you and goodbye
Bye !
After this revelation, the policemen searched clues. First, they began by looking clues in the street. After some minutes they found bullets in front of a bank. They entered and found a dead body ! Close, there was a eye-patch and a wad. The dead body held in his hand a map. Perhaps he was detective private. On the ground there was a wad of dollar bills and farther a safe. The policemen thought that the detective followed the presumed burglar. Near the safe, they found a drill. It is with that that he would have break the safe.
Marc !
Yes Bob ?
It's surprising that the burglar left without dollar bills..
Yes, there was an unforeseen event.
Perhaps the burglar is an amateur
Yes.. and he was afraid..
Yes.. and he shot on the detective private..
Marc, we are the best policemen !
They go back to the commissionership to take imprints on the clues.
Some weeks passed. The amateur had left his imprints. He named Harry Pooner. It's a man of seventeen years old. He was arrested and admitted.
Où j'en suis dans mon devoir
2 commentaires pour ce devoir
Alors pour le close je voudrais dire "Tout près" et en fete après There was a eye-patch and a WIG (perruque) .
On the ground there was a wad. Wad ça veut dire "liasse" (cest dans le lexique de mon livre d'anglais) donc je suppose que c'est une liasse de billet :)
Merci de ton aide !!! =)
On the ground there was a wad. Wad ça veut dire "liasse" (cest dans le lexique de mon livre d'anglais) donc je suppose que c'est une liasse de billet :)
Merci de ton aide !!! =)
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Voici ton texte corrigé:
"Policemen were alerted by the leader of the hotel Place circus. Indeed she had found a weapon in one of her rooms. More exactly in the room number thirteen...
The two policemen arrived at the hotel. Mrs Allen greeted them. They asked the woman if she had heard noises. She explained that she was not there yesterday evening but that her assistant was present. She called him:
-Hi Emma!
-Hello Mrs Allen, there is a problem?
-Everything is alright but I have a question for you. Have you heard noise yesterday evening?
-Yes! A gun shot noise!
-Thank you and goodbye.
-Bye!
After this revelation, the policemen searched clues. First, they began by looking for clues in the street. After some minutes they found bullets in front of a bank. They entered and found a dead body! Close(qu'est ce que tu veux dire par là?), there was a eye-patch and a wad(c'est quoi un "wad"?). The dead body held in his hand a map. Perhaps he was a private detective. On the ground there was a wad(pareil...) of money and farther a safe. The policemen thought that the detective followed the presumed burglar. Near the safe, they found a drill. It is with that that he would have broke the safe.
-Marc!
-Yes Bob?
-It's surprising that the burglar left without the money...
-Yes, there was an unforeseen event.
-Perhaps the burglar is an amateur.
-Yes... and he was afraid...
-Yes... and he shot the private detective...
-Marc, we are the best policemen!
They went back to the commissioner ship to take imprints on the clues.
Some weeks passed. The amateur had left his imprints. His name is Harry Pooner. He's a seventeen years old man. He was arrested and admitted."
Cordialement,
Benjamin CNED 3ème