Presentation super hero

Publié le 30 mars 2018 il y a 6A par Anonyme - Fin › 2 avr. 2018 dans 6A
6

Sujet du devoir

 Je doit faire une présentation orale, dans laquelle je doit présenter un super héro fantastique ou réaliste.

J'aimerais que vous pussiez m'aider à corriger mon devoir, merci.

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

 

I introduce you butterfly-woman who is a fantasy heroine and she defends the environment. She would like to have a clean planet. Indeed, she reduces the emissions of CO2 and it’s her who creates oxygens for the population to let them live.

Firstly, she wears a pink uniform, orange gloves, boots and mask. Also, she has got colourful wings to fly faster.

Moreover, she has got superpowers, for example, she can fly and she is able to stop her enemies with her mind.

Furthermore, she is good-looking and all the little girls want to become like her.

Besides, she is very malicious, notably, she defies the plan of her worst enemy, who is pollute-man.

Pollute-man make environment disasters on Earth and he prevents butterfly-woman from doing her job.

Additionally, she is determined, above all, she has recovered from severe wounds on her wings during a fight between her and pollute-man.

As well as, she really likes helping people, consequently, she is altruistic.

Finally, she is very tenacious because she continuous her actions even though she has begun a long time ago.

To conclude, Butterfly-woman is the best heroine of the world because she is good-looking, malicious, determined, altruistic and tenacious. She fights for a cause and she defends environment from pollute-man. 




4 commentaires pour ce devoir


Anonyme
Posté le 30 mars 2018

Ton devoir est correctement réalisé.

Anonyme
Posté le 30 mars 2018

Bon travail d'invention et de rédaction en anglais, quelques pistes d'amélioration de ton exposé :

Tu pourrais peut-être modifier un peu la structure de ton devoir en regroupant les qualités de ta super héroïne dans une première partie puis dans une seconde partie son opposition avec Pollute Man.

En clair, déplace le passage où tu expliques qu'elle est altruiste et tenace au début de ta présentation.

Si tu veux tu peux raconter un peu son combat contre pollute man pour rendre ton exposé plus vivant.

 

Anonyme
Posté le 30 mars 2018

bonjour,bonsoir,

 

ce que tu as fait est assez correct, mais voici ce que j'aurai mis a ta place :

 

 

ce que tu as mis :

Pollute-man make environment disasters on Earth and he prevents butterfly-woman from doing her job.

 

correction :

Pollute-man make environment disasters on Earth and he prevents a butterfly-woman from doing her job.

 

ce que tu as mis : --> probleme de virgule mal placée

As well as, she really likes helping people, consequently, she is altruistic.

 

correction :

As well, as she really likes helping people, consequently, she is altruistic.

 

ce que tu as mis :

To conclude, Butterfly - woman is the best heroine of the world because she is good-looking, malicious, determined, altruistic and tenacious.

 

correction :

To conclude, the Butterfly - woman is the best heroine of the world because she is good-looking, malicious, determined, altruistic and tenacious.

(on parle d'une personne précis)

 

bonne chance!

6
Anonyme
Anonyme
Posté le 30 mars 2018

Ton devoir est bien écrit. Je te corrige juste tes fautes.

Pour commencer :

Butterfly-Woman c'est son nom donc si tu mets une majuscule tu ne mettras pas d'article devant ni "a" ni "The", c'est comme pour Batman.

I introduce you to Butterfly-woman. She is a fantasy heroine who defends the environment. She would like to have a clean planet. Indeed, she reduces the CO2 emissions and she creates oxygens for the population to help them live.

First of all, she wears a pink uniform, orange gloves, boots and a mask. Also, she has got colourful wings to fly faster.

Moreover, she has got superpowers, for example, she can fly and she is able to stop her enemies with her mind.

Furthermore, she is good-looking and all the little girls want to look like her.

Besides, she is very malicious, notably, she defies the plan of her worst enemy, who is Pollute-man.

Pollute-man makes environment disasters on Earth and he prevents Butterfly-woman from doing her job.

Additionally, she is determined, above all, she has recovered from severe wounds on her wings during a fight against Pollute-man.

As well, she really likes helping people, consequently, she is altruistic.

Finally, she is very tenacious because she carries on her actions even though she began them a long time ago.

To conclude, Butterfly-woman is the best heroine of the world because she is good-looking, malicious, determined, altruistic and tenacious. She fights for a cause and she defends environment from Pollute-man. 

 


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