Grammaire , conjugaison et tournure en Anglais

Sujet du devoir

Bonjour ,
étant en première année de DUT GEA et ayant des difficultés conséquentes en anglais , je me remets à vous pour m'aider dans le travail d'un exposé sur le sujet de la concurrence des smartphones .
Mon prof est très sévère sur la grammaire et donc si je mets par exemple : "in holiday" au lieu de "on holiday" il enlève 1 point .
J'ai un texte ( un peu long désolé ... ) que j'ai fait, et si vous le voulez bien, m'aider à corriger les erreurs grammaticales et de tournure de phrases ou même de n'importe quoi d'autre qui puisse m'aider à me perfectionner .
Merci par avance pour les personnes qui prendront le temps de m'aider .

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

Voici mon texte :

Problem: can we think that it can have a twist in the competition of smartphone ?

FOR:
For me, the Chinese manufacturers are going to conquer the world market of smartphones and to invert the podium of the market of the smartphone which is at present occupied by Apple, Samsung and Microsoft.
Because the Chinese smartphones have severe advantages:
They have a workforce unbeatable, the advantage is that they do not pay a very high price for the employees, they can thus lower the pricesof their products while having a suitable margin.
The Chinese manufacturers have an exponential growth since a few years, certain manufacturers begin to sell in Europe as Huawei, of other one has not widened their horizons yet but benefits from a good image as Xiaomi, considered as being reliable and good quality.
They have a supply in raw materials in very competitive price, they doncpeuvent to allow to lower also the final price of their products while having once again a good profit margin.

Finally, their products have almost the same characteristics technique as certain products of the giants of this market (Apple, Samsung) but at prices 20 in cheaper 30 %. And what people always wanted is to pay the cheapest possible for a more successful and quality product superior. What gives an advantage some to the Chinese manufacturers of smartphones who chose the strategy of low price.

AGAINST:
For me, the Chinese manufacturers will have the upper hand certainly never over the giants of this market whom are: Apple and Samsung mainly.
Because the Chinese manufacturers have enough budget to be able to examine, and innovate in the sector of the smartphone, what Apple and Samsung can allow with their budget more than suitable in the search for novelties to include in their modeles next ones of smartphones.
What we can say also, it is that Apple and Samsung is historic companies in the market of smartphones, they are implanted for decades and have a not insignificant experience in this very competitive market. Their fame and the image of their brands is for a level far too much raised with regard to their Chinese competitors who they are very young in this difficult market of integration.
Apple and Samsung established a very successful system of AFTER-SALES SERVICE, who answer customer expectations quickly and effectively, contrary Chinese manufacturers who certainly have no AFTER-SALES SERVICE WORTHY OF THE NAME. Apple and Samsung has marketing spending incredible on this market what makes that they are always in mind of consumers contrary to the Chinese builders who do not still make ads all over the world or little because of their certainly limited budget.
Finally, we can conclude on the fact that the main manufacturers of it worked of smartphones have a gap so much importing in their market shares that everything the Chinese manufacturers gathered would not manage to exceed in market shares the only one of these monsters of the market of the smartphones that is Apple and Samsung.

CONCLUSION:
What I can say on this market, it is that he is very complex and very difficult of integration. The fact that Xiaomi, Huawei, TCL or still other young Chinese manufacturers were able to settle down and to be made a reputation on this market makes that they are not competitors to take lightly. They have pût to acquire market shares in only a few years what is really very good one performances on this market.
But the advance of the historic manufacturers is so enormous that it is very difficult to catch up them, they count especially on their brand image and their massive marketing spending to stay in head, the fact is as well as they have an innovation very elaborate in their new products, it is what likes the consumer, the novelty!
The Chinese manufacturers invented nothing at the moment, they are self-sufficient in the basic functions of the smartphone generally. But their values for money or still performances / price fact of them of severe competitors.
For my part, what is certain, it is that the manufacturers history are going to stay on the podium even several years, the Chinese manufacturers will become really competitive in a decade, but at the moment he cannot have of reversal of the market of the smartphone in favour of the Chinese manufacturers there.

Merci pour votre aide.