Bac d'anglais :)

Sujet du devoir

Bonjours, je passe mon oral d'anglais bientôt, serait-il possible de me corriger ma notion pour éviter que je face des fautes à l'oral? Je vous remercie d'avance.

I'm going to talk about the notion «  places and forms of power ». The power is the ability to influence the behavior of people. In order to live together members of a community accept rules, laws. This helps to create social cohesion but can also lead to conflicts and tensions. I will try to answer the following question « Are we totally free in our modern democracies, or is freedom only an eternal myth? ». I will talk first about the living conditions of women in India.Then, I will deal with the topic of firearms in the United States.

In India, the girls are married from their youngest age, they do not choose her husband, it is their family which imposes on them. The husbands are chosen according to the social statu of the family. Instead of going to the school, the girls see each other often obliged to work to help their families. The girls cannot make for the most part long study, because being married young, they get pregnant often very fast. To be born girl in India is dangerous, there is a significant number of women's abortions waiting for a girl, because the girls are considered a financial burden. If the girls do not deliver boys or are sterile, they represent a shame for the family and are often reduced exclave there, mistreated. Girls in India are treated as objects, they have no freedom, their opinions are not taken into account.

We studied the document "First Meeting" which talks about the encounter between a 13 year old girl living in India and her future husband, she explains that she agreed to meet her future husband only to not disappoint her family , She does not want to marry, she wants to study, to be free, not to depend on someone.

As for firearms in the State Unis. The firearms homicide rate in the US is 20 times hiher than in other rich countries.On average more than 100.00 people are shot each year. More than one million people in the US have been killed with a gun since 1968, when Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy were assassinated. We studied a photograph on the Second Amendment. This second amendment explains that the right of people to keep and bear arms should not be violated. The support of a well-regulated militia is necessary for the security of a free state.

To conclude, we can see that we are not totally free in our modern democracies, there are still women in the world who are not free to have their own opinions, there are always Inequalities between men and women. We can also see that the carrying of weapons in the United States does not totally represent a freedom, because these weapons cause a lot of death each year.

From my point of view, I think we should prohibit firearms in the United States, because there are more and more people being killed, and there are more and more children killing. For example, there was in a school in America, a young person who came with a rifle and who killed children, we should not show this example to the children, that the carrying of weapons is authorized and that they can possess it. I also think that women in India should be respected as much as men, because we all have the same values, women should choose their husbands, continue their studies if they want to. Everyone should be equal, unfortunately this is not the case everywhere.

Où j'en suis dans mon devoir

 Est-ce que ma notion et trop longue et y a-il des fautes?