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Sujet du devoir
Je passe un oral vendredi dans lequel je doit devenir un 'sandwich man' dans lequel je parle de la d'un événement, d'un restaurant,... en tout cas il faut qu'il se passe dans la ville de New York. J'ai décider de parler d'une course qui aura lieu dans l'empire state building.
Je vous demande, si possible, de corriger mon devoir et de me donner quelques améliorations à prévoir merci.
Où j'en suis dans mon devoir
Hi everybody!
A run up race is organized in the tallest building of the city, the Empire State Building this Saturday. Run and climb the 1573 steps to reach the top. If you are a good runner sign up now and you may earn 1 thousand dollars.The last year, the price was won by a french man. If you are not a good runner you can take one of the 73 elevators to go to the observation deck, at the 86th floor, in which you will observe New York city and a lunch will be served at 1p.m. The mayor is invited, and he will give the price at 6p.m. When you go back don’t forget to buy a souvenir.
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Hi everybody!
A run up race is organized in the tallest building of the city, the Empire State Building [on] this Saturday. Run and climb the 1573 steps to go to the top (of the building). If you are a good runner sign up now and you may earn 1 thousand dollars. A French man [was] won this race [the] last year. If you are not a good runner you can take one of the 73 elevators to go to the observation deck, on the 86th floor, in which you will observe New York city and a lunch will be served at 1p.m. The mayor is invited, and he will give the price at 6p.m. When you go back don’t forget to buy a souvenir.
Entre crochets ce que tu dois supprimer, et entre parenthèses ce que tu peux supprimer, parce que ça n'apporte rien.
De même, tu peux changer "to go to the top" par "reach the top", qui veut dire atteindre le sommet.