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Bonjour,
je suis actuellement en 3e et désormais nous avons une épreuve d'anglais et 2 brevet blanc. Au premier le travail était à l'écrit et le 2e que je passe en fin de mois à l'oral. J'ai donc préparé un texte pour ensuite l'apprendre. Il faut pouvoir tenir 4 minutes à l'oral. Pourriez-vous corrigez mes fautes ? Merci d'avance.
Où j'en suis dans mon devoir
Hello I'm Laura M*****, I'm fourteen years old, I was born in Orleans the 13th june 1995 at 14.00 p.m but my mother was in the motherwood since 7.00 am. At his moment i live in Chaingy in the Loiret. Thiss house was very bad because i always sick, the doctor hadd add 4 pages in my health records. When I'm 6 years old, me and my parents move in Mer at the side of Blois, this town it's very good because we find pretty much at prowimity. But at 2007 my parents divorced, me and my mother move in St Julien de Chédon, when I see it's a little village I was extremely deceived. But from now I live in P*****, it's better than St Julien de Chedon. I'm impatient, responsible, honest sometimes too much, and hard-working but i'm too stubborn and a little touchy. I'm unassuming because I don't enjoy to draw attention to oneself. I love read books and magazines, my favorits are "16 lunes" and "Jeunes & Jolies". I like chating on msn and get out with my friends. I enjoy running but I hate playing football I prefer basketball. Regulary I babysit two children Marie and Antoine they are 1 year and 7 months, I love playing with them because they are Kind. From Monday at friday I go to school, I get up at 7am for take my bus at 8 am. I get back home at 17 pm, I see my Boy friend, Guillaume, and I do my homeworks. My favorits subject are Sciences, English and History. I live with my mother, Nathalie, and two dogs, Max and tequila, Max is more Older than Tequila. I see my father during the holiday because he lives in Dordogne with my stepmother, Myriam, and my little sisters, Camille and Eloise. They are 4 and 2 years old, they are friendly but they write on my books when i don't hide them. I do 4 hours of public transports. Once a month, I visit my cousins, Florian, Cassandra and Adrien ; they live in the Loiret. Rarely I see my grandmother, my godmother ans her sun because they lives in Dordogne as my father but he don't like them. I'm the older with my cousins because they are 12, 8, 6 and 4 years old.
9 commentaires pour ce devoir
I don't like(love) drawn the attention on me et non oneself c'est mieux et plus clair
chatting 2 t et pas un seul
aprés c'est tout ce que je peux te dire mais ton texte est pas mal
2 ou 3 conseils de plus j'ai vu que tes phrases était longues donc prends le temps de parler articuler fait des pauses
si tu as besion de d'autres conseils pour le brevet ou un autre devoirn'hésite pas
bonne chance impressionne les tous!!! mdr je plaisante
a+ =) lafreshgirl12
I was always sick. Attention ligne 4 : tu dois utiliser le prétérit qui se forme avec -ed sauf pour les verbes irréguliers.
Tu ne peux pas écrire this town it's... it's veut dire c'est , tu dois utiliser is. Fais attention à la concordance des temps : when I see it WAS a little... Pour former une phrase avec I love tu dois mettre un progressif en -ing après : I love reading...
Attention tu dois mettre le nom au pluriel et pas l'adjectif : favorite subjects.
Holidays
Ton texte est bien, essaye d'apprendre les mots que tu ne connais pas bien par coeur et quelques tournures . Pour le reste si tu sais à peu près ce que tu veux dire ça devrait venir tout seul à l'oral. Essaye d'écouter qq émissions ou séries Tv en anglais pour l'accent si tu peux.
n'hésites pas si tu as besoin d'aide! bon courage
Bonjour,
je te reprends tout le texte pour que ça soit plus clair (je prend en compte les corrections de Lafreshgirl12 et Vanille6978) :
Correction : >
Hello I'm Laura M*****, I'm fourteen years old, I was born in Orleans the 13th june 1995 at 14.00 p.m but my mother was in the maternity ward since 7.00 am. At this moment I lived in Chaingy in the Loiret, this house was very bad because I was always sick, the doctor had added 4 pages in my health records. When I was 6 years old, I and my parents moved in Mer at the side of Blois, this town was very good because we found pretty much at proximity. But in 2007, my parents got divorced, I and my mother moved in St Julien de Chédon, when I saw a little village I was extremely disappointed. But now I live in P*****, which is better than St Julien de Chedon. I'm impatient, responsible, honest sometimes too much, and hard-working but i'm too stubborn and a little touchy. I'm unassuming because I don't enjoy to draw attention to myself. I love reading books and magazines, my favorite are "16 lunes" and "Jeunes & Jolies". I like chatting on msn and get out with my friends. I enjoy running but I hate playing football, I prefer basketball. Regulary I babysit two children Marie and Antoine they are 1 year and 7 months, I love playing with them because they are kind. From Monday to Friday I go to school, I get up at 7am for take my bus at 8 am. I get back home at 17 pm, I see my boyfriend, Guillaume, and I do my homework. My favorite subjects are Sciences, English and History. I live with my mother, Nathalie, and two dogs, Max and Tequila, Max is older than Tequila. I see my father during the holidays because he lives in Dordogne with my stepmother, Myriam, and my little sisters, Camille and Eloise who are 4 and 2 years old. They are friendly but they write on my books when I don't hide them. I have 4 hours of public transports to go see them. Once a month, I visit my cousins Florian, Cassandra and Adrien ; they live in the Loiret. Rarely I see my grandmother, my godmother and her son because they live in Dordogne like my father but he doesn't like them. I'm the oldest between my cousins because they are 12, 8, 6 and 4 years old.
Je t'ai corrigé les conjugaisons, l'othographe et modifié parfois la syntaxe et construction des phrases (beaucoup trop longue !). Bon courage pour ton oral de présentation !
Ils ont besoin d'aide !
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tout d'abord c'est bien que tu saches déjà ce que tu veu dire.
c'est au moin cela de fait.
deplus les entrainements oral a toujours était le cas l'an dernier quand j'ai passé les épreuves d'anglais j'ai eu des exos d'oral rien de bien méchant donc no panic mdr
tuas mis 2 s à in THIS house
deceived veut dire trompé c'est ce que tu veux dire ou paS?
si tu veux dire décue c'est disappointed
proximity et non prowimity
I don't like(love) drawn the attention on me et non