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Bonjour, et merci d'avance pour votre aide.
Je dois écrire un récit au prétérit et au "be + ing" sur un incident d'avion. Je ne suis pas du tout à l'aise avec l'anglais et j'ai tendance à écrire du mot à mot... Pouvez vous jeter un coup d'oeil svp et me dire ce qui ne va pas… Je me demande si j'ai pas trop insisté sur le be + ing ?
Où j'en suis dans mon devoir
It's a incredible incident. The press it to speak a lot.
It was 15 january 2009, the flight US AIRWAYS 1549 was flying from New York to Charlotte. It was Airbus A320 landed on water on the river Hudson to New York because of one collision with birds. There was 5 crew members of the command Mr ... and co-pilot Mr ... and 150 passagers. The plane taked off middle after noon and rised speed in the sky. The Airbus was flying since 1min 30 when the co-pilot saw big birds. The birds flew excess near the aircraft it didn't avoid. The passagers was hearing a "boum" when one passagers was sawing engines fire. With the shock, two engines stopped. Passagers were panic. The command was taking manuel command when the co-pilot was looking a solution in the QRH manuel. The plane was smoothing. The pilot contacted to air-traffic controller for to land in urgency. Unfortunately the Airbus didn't have enough altitude for to return to airport. There was that a solution, it was land on water. Passagers was looking with concern when they were understanding the plane landed on water. Pilots were very concentrate for the landing when suddenly, the plane touched water. The landing was a little bit hard. Everybody in the aircraft were to shock but to relieve. The rescue was warned for the incident. It need to act speed because the plane was pouring. At the end of the day, everybody was save, these was any hurts and pilots reward.
5 commentaires pour ce devoir
Ton texte est vraiment parfait !
Je voulais savoir si en global tu avais compris mon texte, si par exemple, j'avais écrit un récit comme sa, est-ce que en global on me comprendrai ? si il n'y avait pas trop de grosses fautes ...?
Par ex. tu dis the plane taked off middle afternoon
Tu voulais dire l'avion a décollé en milieu de l'après midi.
L'erreur ici c'est taked off. Le verbe c'est bien to take off mais pas de chance, il est irrégulier et sa forme est took off :))
Faut faire attention à ces verbes. Au moins tu as fait un effort de la rédiger; ce qui n'est pas le cas pour tout le monde. Y en a même qui ne disent même pas merci.
Bon courage et peut-être à une prochaine fois.
thank you for your help ;) à bientot
La correction de MisterBean est très bien !
Ce que tu as réussis par contre c'est la conjugaison du be+ing, tu as visiblement compris comment ça marche, c'est bien.
Ils ont besoin d'aide !
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Voici ce qu'il faut faire:
A red Hot News of the press
An incredible plane crash over the Hudson River: all the passengers and the crew survived!
On the 15th of January in 2009, the US AIRWAYS 1549 air plane was flying from New York to Charlotte. The Airbus A320 had to land onto the river Hudson due to a collision with birds. There were 5 crew members, 2 pilots and 150 passengers in the plane. The aircraft took off in the afternoon. The plane has flown for 1 minute and 30 seconds when the co-pilot saw a group of big birds. The birds flew so close to the plane that they could not avoid hitting the plane. The passengers heard a big bang and one of them saw an engine fire. Due to the shock, two engines stopped working. The passengers were in panic! The failure of the system made the pilot use the manual override. Meanwhile, the co-pilot was looking for a solution in the QRH process. The aircraft lost airspeed. The pilot contacted the air traffic control center for an urgent landing. Unfortunately, as the plane lost altitude it could not get back to the airport.
Now, there was only one solution: to land onto the river! The passengers were informed about this landing on the river.
It did not take a long time that the pilot, very concentrated and with a great ability managed to land onto the water of the river. That was a too hard landing but necessary. Everone was shocked and in panic. The rescue teams were warned about the incident. They managed to come very quickly because they knew the plane could sink any time.
Eventually, the rescue teams did a great job. They managed to get all the passengers out of the plane and the pilots and the crew members as well. All was well that ended well! The courageous pilot was rewarded for his act of bravery!