Lettre d'Anglais .Besoin de quelques corrections.... Merci pour votre aide !!!!

ta lettre est bien écrite et je n'y ai pas vu de fautes, mais tu devrais plus aéré ta lettre lorsque tu la rendras. ca sera plus complaisant a lire

Bonjour Millasunrise,
voici quelques corrections concernant le début de ton devoir, car je dois m'absenter.
- What a pleasure to discover you will realize... you who love traveling...
occasion : opportunity
there is for a long time : à revoir!

bon courage, si tu as besoin d'autres infos et surtout la règle d'or pour un devoir en langue étrangère : tu dois penser en cette langue! je t'aiderai plus tard

Je te proposerais quelques modifications/corrections :
(à vérifier)

1/ "There is any day" par There isn't any day"

2/ "I'll present you" par "I'll introduce you"

3/ "all my neighborhood" par "all my neighborhoods"

4/ "you will be a real Indian" par "you will be like a real Indian"

5/ "streetn" par "street"

6/ "dist" par "dish"

7/ "I won't be present" par "I won't attend"

Bye

Bonjour Millasunrise,

Alors ton texte est bien écrit, mais il y a quelques fautes:

"Hello my Dear Sarah,
I was so cheerful when I received a letter from you! And what pleasure when I knew that you will realise your dream: Open your own restaurant! I consider that it's a really good idea to serve culinary specialities of the whole word, you who love to travel... even if, until now, you HAVEN'T HAD the TIME to do it. IT FEELS like I'M making you love India, there is so for a long time that I suggested you coming to see me. You will be very surprised, you will come back with many smells of the markets. The best time to come IS certainly between January and March because that will change you of the rain in England. There ISN'T A SINGLE DAY WHERE THERE IS bad weather during this period it's really shinny because Chenni is located in the south of India so we have one of the best climat of the country. I'll present you my friends and all my NEIGHBORS who are very welcoming between us already but especially with strangers and lovers of food like you.
With this way, you will be a real Indian and you will able to know how PEOPLE cook at home. Behind my STREET there is a typical restaurant with the most popular DISH which you have to try! It is called "Saag Gosht" it is composed with MEAT and spinach. No problem if you don't enjoy it, you will EVENTUALLY FIND your happiness in all this variety of flavour. On the contrary, I won't be present for the oppening of the restaurant in July because of the wedding of my daughter in Crete. I'm so exited ABOUT this idea and by the way, I heard that the food is one of the best of the world, the healthiest. I wanted to invite you but I guess that you will be really busy with the restaurant. I will come in August to see it and I hope everything will be allright for you.
Give me more news about your arrival in India. I will come AND PICK you UP at the airport.
XOXO Helena"

J'ai mis les choses a changer en MAJ...

Cordialement,

Benjamin CNED 3ème

Bonjour a toi Millasunrise,
je t'apporte quelques précisions pour t'aider à améliorer les quelques fautes que j'ai entrevues dans ton devoir. Je vais les citer et il te faudra réfléchir sur ta faute.

1 "To serve specialities [OF] the whole world" ta préposition n'est pas bonne
2 "love to travel" tu ne peux pas utiliser le verbe à la forme verbale (TO + BASE verbale) derrière un verbe de goût comme love/like/hate car automatiquement cela va traduire une action en déroulement (donc on utilise ING et on supprime le TO)
c'est comme j'aime jouer de la guitare "I love playing g..."
3/ que voulais tu dire dans "I feel like making you love India " ? il faut que tu reformule ta phrase, cela ne veut rien dire.
4/ "there is so for a long time" ce n'est pas la bonne tournure pour dire "cela fait si longtemps que..." mais plutot "it's been such a long time since I + present perfect"
5/ "smells" n'est pas le bon mot. Que voulais tu dire? "saveur?"

je passe au paragraphe suivant en t'incitant fortement à te relire car il y a encore beaucoup de tournures mal employées et mal formulées

"With this way , you will be a real Indian and you will able to know how perople cook at home "
relis toi, tu dois trouver au moins 3 fautes, et je te donne la 1ère : le mot de liaison n'est pas bon, écris plutot "anyway"
"my streetn" faute de frappe?

Il reste encore quelques erreurs mais la fin de ton devoir est solide.
Prends en compte tous mes conseils et tu ne feras qu'améliorer ton devoir. N'hésite pas à me poser tes questions pour ce qui te pose probleme, j'essaierai de prendre le temps de te répondre.
bon courage

Je suis désolée en avance, parce que je ne parle pas bien la langue française. (Je suis Americaine) Mais, je vais essayer de corriger ce lettre, et utilise les mots plus comment quelqu’une qui parle anglais comment sa première langue.

Hello my Dear Sarah ,
--> on dit simplement "Dear Sarah,", normalment



I was so cheerful when I received a letter from you !
--> I was so happy when I received a letter from you!
(on ne dit pas "I was so cheerful"... cheerful est un mot qu'on utilise pour la description de quelqu'un d'autre, mais pour la plupart, on ne dit "I was cheerful"; ce n'est pas un FAUTE, exactemant, mais il semble un peut étrange. Et aussi -- en anglais, on ne mit pas un... blanc? avant que le "!". C'est "from you!", pas "from you !")

And what pleasure when I knew that you will realise your dream :
--> c'est le meme chose ici - "your dream :" vaut mieux comment "your dream:". Aussi, les mots semble encore un peu étrange pour un parleur natife... donc
--> And what a pleasure it was when I learned that you are on your way to realizing your dream:

Open your own restaurant !
--> Opening your own restaurant!


I consider that it's a really good idea to serve culinary specialities of the whole word , you who love to travel...

-->I believe that it's an excellent idea to serve culinary specialties from around the world, as someone who loves to travel...

even if , until now , you didn't have the occasion to do it .
--> even if, until now, you had not had occasion to do so.

I feel like making you love India , there is so for a long time that I suggested you coming to see me .

--> I want you to come to love India; this is why for so long I have been suggesting that you visit me.

You will be very surprised , you will come back with many smells of the markets .
--> You will be surprised, and return with the many smells of the markets.

The best time to come it's certainly between January and March because that will change you of the rain in England .
--> The best time to come is most definitely between January and March, since that will be a nice change from the rain in England.


There is any day of bad weather during this period it's really shinny because Chenni is located in the south of India so we have one of the best climat of the country .
--> There isn't a day of bad weather during this period; the sun is always shining, because Chenni is located in the south of India, where the climate is the nicest in the country.



I'll present you my friends and all my neighborhood who are very welcoming between us already but especially with strangers and lovers of food like you .
--> I'll introduce you to my friends and neighbors, who are very friendly, especially to strangers with a love of food like yourself.

With this way , you will be a real Indian and you will able to know how perople cook at home .
-->In this way, you will be like a real Indian, and learn the Indian style of home cooking.

Behind my streetn there is a typical restaurant with the most popular dist which you have to try !
-->A block away from my street, there is a typical Indian restaurant, which serves a popular dish that I hope you will try.

It is called " Saag Gosht " It is composed with meal and spinach .
-->It's called "Saag Gosht", and is composed of meat and spinach.

No problem if you don't enjoy it, you will find finally your happiness in all this variety of flavour .
--> It is not a problem if you don't enjoy it; it is inevitable that you will find something that you enjoy among the many varieties of flavour.

On the contrary , I won't be present for the oppening of the restaurant in July because of the wedding of my daughter in Crete .
-->Unfortunately, I won't be present for the opening of the restaurant in July, since I will be attending the my daughter's wedding in Crete.

I'm so exited of this idea and by the way , I heard that the food is one of the best of the world , the healthiest .
-->I'm excited by this idea, because I hear that the food there is the best, as well as the healthiest.

I wanted to invite you but I guess that you will be really busy with the restaurant .
-->I had hoped to invite you, but I guess that you will be really busy with your restaurant.

I will come in August to see it and I hope everything will be allright for you .
-->I will come in August to see it, and I hope that everything goes well for you.

Give me more news about your arrival in India . I will come to take you at the airport .
-->Please give me more information about your arrival in India, so that I can come to pick you up at the airport.

Xxxx Helena